saiyagok's Journal

It's been a long time since my last wallpaper and here in the middle of this year a little of retrospective, not too nice. I've been busy taking care of my health, not so serious but enough important to take my sleep away many times, so sometimes there is no space for thinking* more worries than nothing, worries since the past year, really it was a harsh year but i feel that is getting better.

is maybe funny (but is not) I've lost the total focus, is like I forgot how to do many things and with every idea, I push myself too much to do the things i wanna do and if i can't feel a high satisfaction, i can't do nothing with that, so then comes the natural frustration over and over again, caring many thing in mind bad and good, does not help o__o I opt for go away instead of try too much because at the end you can possibily hate what are you doing. Nightmares.

the only thing is wait, try, got some mental peace and go for the simple things, the else it comes with time to you. Because search for inspiration sucks, really sucks!

here with this wallapaper that resumes a conciliation, where i see that i do something more naturally and with every change, every twist i liked more and more, that kind of feeling i was missing that so much since i did my first wallapers, all born in my mind for some reason and i do wallpaper for myself with the joy of share what i like. so the massive production of wallpapers is not my erm.. is not my thing, at least the things you see in my gallery are all of them because I could be able complete the "circle", the ones not, are in my little folder with more than 40th projects, to me, all great ideas that i want it to come true but victims of "who know if i can" well that something i am learning to do ^^

meanwhile i got sick of some stuffs.. you know, too much behavior so i will take off some barriers, and one conclusion is ...what the hell!

so this time i was more into commenting being around the community, oh gosh.. yes i know why. it's more difficult commenting over works that need more help than others, it does! maybe some people can say it, but we are not masters of anything, so x_x the surprise was meet myself with people that don't like we to say that to them xD and... i don't care! we aren't perfects, the most beauty thing of this place is the exercise of learning, not just about what you don't know or what you can't do, learning about what is the deal, what you do, the feedback is beautiful, i appreciate the few but valuable comments i got. people can forget humility, be open to people, to ideas to many things. in some moment we should remind that.

To many people this is not a hobbie it all, i talk for myself and who feel the same way, this is mine, a way to express my thoughs, this is also my job, my career, the way to think and look the world and life, the thing I do for beloved people, costumers, people, myself is like a glasses that you can't never take off (almost). this is what i want do for the rest of my life, in many formats all that i could learn. i learned how to mess myself into that and how to scape for a while.

I had the opportunity this past months to read them, read journals, websites, pay attention to descriptions and is fantastic how they express themselves. not all of them talk too much, not all are great xD anyways~ was fun

With this wp another come soon. My finished vectors i hope do wallpapers of all of them, well erm all of them have the idea at least, for example, the vector of kazuaki i a very worked wallpaper need a lot of effect or a special effect I am trying and i want it just like i want! so >_< a couples of month working on that but slowly. I am also fixing two of my olds vectors with new techniques i learned, to improve them, because i have to, i feel the need to! xD

aha, the Video of the vector-speed I worked over the wallaper RESOLUTION, you also can find them into de wp description and on the Club Illustrator.

The video of the Process over the lips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTu5YYuiMcI

and The video of the Process over the Eye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk8l9sLXtFo

hyahoooo falls on the floor sleeping