This is an article about Final Fantasy being banned. Read to find out why they say so.


TEXAS (CNN) -- In light of recent terrorist attacks, the Department of Homeland Security has issued a ban on all sales and distribution of the 1997 hit video game, Final Fantasy VII

The game involves the main character, Cloud Strife, planting bombs in power plants in a heavily populated city. The protagonist works with the terrorist group "Avalanche" bombing locations throughout the beginning of the game.

The decision was made only hours after the bombing of a chemical plant in Fort Worth, Texas. The FBI is still hot on the trails of the culprit, going by the hacker alias "frootloops". An FBI spokesperson told CNN at the time that investigators have already seized equipment in the culprits house, but frootloops was nowhere to be found. "Upon confiscation of the equipment, we found a large collection of child pornography on the culprits hard drive." said the FBI spokesperson.

President Bush has already indicated he's opposed to Square-Enix role playing games. "Mario doesn't blow up power plants" Bush said on thursday. Mario was unavailible for comment.

Parenting groups are also up in arms against the game. "These 'role playing games' are teaching our children to use magic and summon demons, they're destroying our childrens future and making them worship satan. We can't allow this to continue." Various forms of Magic have been a staple of every game in the Final Fantasy series dating back to Final Fantasy released in 1990 for the Nintendo Entertainment System. "It's almost as bad as Harry Potter!" A parent who wishes to remain anonymous said.

Sen. Hillary Clinton also is highly opposed to the game.

"First Grand Theft Auto, and now this. I'm starting to think we should just ban all video games. Final Fantasy VII is an awful game, and should have never been created in the first place. I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future. The problem of explicit video games is spiraling out of control." Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission. Tifa's breasts were unavailible for comment.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., Target Corp., Best Buy Co. and Circuit City Stores Inc. have pulled the game from their shelves following the recent ban.



It's a joke article, so don't take it that seriuosly.

I remember reading that they had far more difficulty getting the cross-dressing scene approved without censorship than the guerilla tactics of Avalanche.

Would kinda be funny if it was true.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
omg, if it was really banned...that would be soo funny!!
god...thats so stupid

Imagine if that were true. The government would've just shown how ridiculous they are xD

Hehehe That's the irony of it all ^____^

Man, that's like the GMR article when a guy was talking on the phone about one of the bomb missions in GTAi and got arrested for attempt of terrorist activity and was charged with a felony. ;p it sounds quite ridiculous, but you know people, there are some manic folks today.

LOL!! " I mean, look at the size of Tifa's breasts! They're destroying our childrens future." ROFLMMFAO!! OH YEAH.. playboy and porn has NOTHING to do with it.. TT'' lol

that'd really suck if it were true...

Oh man i was about to explode until i read that last sentence.

Wat a lame thing for bush to say...

LOL that made my day!! Though I wouldnt be surprised if a certain number of people felt that way, not about ff7 specificly, but games such as gta. but hey wut can ya do?

Becuase US-gouvernment is stupid. Nuff said.

Hmmm the government makes simple things compicated sometimes...well most of the time ^___^

I really fell for it all the way down to the Bush commentary. ^^
Wouldn't surprise me if some games started getting banned for similar reasons though. Computer games gets blamed for lots of stuff these days...

It was really interesting to see a Senator knowning even the Name of TIFA ;P from there i knew it wasnt true xD