Here's a discussion for some of the mature members here in AP. This was a discussion I remembered in my Psychology class, and I'm just interested on the opinions of the members here. If you can't even write a well-thought reply that has correct spelling and punctuation, don't bother to post. I don't want to see some idiot posting some childish reply thinking it was funny.

What is your impression of sex? Do you view it as something romantic or not? With society nowadays, sex is viewed in a completely different way than it was years ago. Do you think that a person should not have sex until they get married? Why and why not?

Some people view virginity as a precious and valuable thing. Society puts a greater pressure on women to be virgins than they do on men. Is that fair? If you are a girl, do you prefer that your future husband be a virgin? If you are a guy, do you prefer that your future wife be a virgin?

Now that the questions are over, here is what I think. My impression of sex is something that is shared between two people. It can be romantic but bottom line, it's just sex and it's sole purpose is just to give off offsprings. I don't think a person should wait until they married, but if they want to, that is their choice. If they feel this person is the person for them and they feel comfortable doing it, I don't see anything wrong with that.

I think it is unfair of society to put a greater pressure on women to be virgins just because they are the one that are getting pregnant and having to give birth later on. It is not only unfair but sexist, just like how people look down on female prostitutes more than they do on male prostitutes. I don't mind if my future husband is a virgin or not. I don't really care. However, I think that he should not make it mandatory for me to be virgin when I don't expect the same out of him. I think it is stupid when men expect their wives to be virgins and that they won't marry women who are not virgins, when they are not virgins themselves.

Now what do you think? Agree or disagree? Don't feel shy, express your opinions.

I love talking about things like this, I never really get to with anyone else... >_>

Ok, my first impression of sex is that it's the result of lust. Not love. It can be romatic to two people, but in the end, it's only romantic because they tell eachother it is. If they have sex, it's lust.
Love and sex is viewed so much differently than before. Sex is everywhere, in the music we listen to, movies we watch, everything.
I think that a person can wait until they're married if they want, but I wouldn't. I think that one shouldn't wait just so that they can be virgins when they marry. To hold back just for the record. And push back any emotions they'll have on the way.
Fuck the church and their idiotic views on sex and what love should be. They're sexist and they want to control the world. Dont put money when they pass around that little basket. Remember, church is for losers. :P
jk... not

It definately isn't fair that more pressure is put on women to stay virgins. One thing I definately hate, is how the more girlfriends a guy has had, the cooler he is somehow. So what, the past girlfriends you've had are trophies? The number is a score to you?
But everyone thinks like that i'm sure, even I do. What do you consider a typical loser/nerd? Anyone who reads manga should know. The loser is typically skinny, wears glasses, and never had a girlfriend. It's always the same thing. Of course, in the mangas though, he ends up somewhere where all the girls want him for some mundane reason. (that's why those types of mangas are so popular. The viewers experience something called escapism)

Anyway~... I dont really care if my wife is a virgin or not, and I dont really even plan to get married so yeah I have a "Fuck it" attitude. If I were to marry, I wouldn't expect the girl to have never touched another guy, that'd just be selfish and unrealistic.

Yeah... not much else to say for now. Need to eat... -_-;;

Sex is just sex.

It's as natural as eating, sleeping, etc. I don't really see it as the big deal that many people make it out to be. It's completely up to the people involved whether or not it has anything to do with love or romance.

As far as sex before marriage, that's a choice that each person has to make for their self. My personal opinion is that sex is a very important part of a relationship. I would not want to get married to someone without knowing whether we worked well together in bed. People that get married and then find out that they don't have much happening in the bedroom are more likely to have affairs/be cheated on. Because we all have these natural desires, and if you don't have a place that you can get what you need, the obvious choice is to go elsewhere, despite how immoral that may be.

On to virginity, a topic I poke fun at all the time. XD If there's anything I can't stand, it's the belief that if you haven't had sex before, that somehow makes you a more "pure" person than those who have. To be a bit redundant, it's just sex. I haven't gone mountain climbing before. Does that mean I'm a mountain climbing virgin? Should I prance about, declaring my moral highground from those filthy mountain climbers? /sarcasm

I think people should stop treating sex like it's some filthy thing that we unfortunately must do in order to bring other humans into the world, and see it for what it is...a natural part of life.

Mmm sex that's all about sex i think that the virguinity are the best form of love but some people in my countri thinks that is better be a virgin but depends the person

Personally, i think sex is something private, and I hate how its almost ALWAYS put in movies and TV shows. It should stay private. And I hate how people attack violence in movies when they should attack sex in movies.

I also hate how (from my experience so far) society puts pressure on people to have sex before they're married, which i think is wrong.

Sex is one of the things I don't understand about the human race: all animals (except for us) have sex simply to procreate, yet we humans have sex just for the hell of it. We dont seem to care about procreation, we seem to care only about having sex for the pleasure of it. Proof of that is in condoms, birth control pills, and abortion. And from all that sex we get STDs. And then you get "Trojan Man" commercials and crap about stopping STDs. . . why don't they have a commercial for abstinence for god's sake?! I think it's because society has made sex something that everyone should have, regardless of marrital status.

I remember reading the Canterbury Tales last year in school, and in EVERY tale, women were portrayed as evil and objects only good for sex; that's really fucking twisted in my opinion. Women are people just like men, they are not objects to possess, like EndOfDestiny said about girlfriends.

The reason I think that someone shouldn't have sex until marriage, is not because of religion, but because the man literally gives his partner a part of him, and, in my view, that becomes a sort of bond between them.

The loser is typically skinny, wears glasses, and never had a girlfriend.

Almost exactly like me :P

Personally, I'm glad I don't have a girlfriend now: I don't have to go through all these break-ups and crap that my friends do.

I do not relate sex with love. You can have one without the other and the other way around it. Most commonly you will have both though.

I completely agree with you there. A lot of these responses will sound redudant sooner or later, so I think it's okay for others to take previous quotes and then review upon their ideas.

Back to the topic, I personally don't care what is the relationship upon what others are doing as long as it doesn't effect me greatly. Sex may be the ultimate physical experience, but we can't really allow our "mates/girlfriends/boyfriends" to go into mass orgies with others for that experience over and over again. It may sound comical, but the idea exists about it. Everyone could have a relationship and sex and whatnot, but how about including people who have multiple partners. How many of you feel comfortable having a girlfriend/boyfriend that has multiple sex partners? Theoretically, the idea about one man and one woman being soulmates is also something that appears in western religion that doesn't allow polygomy.

Anyone could have sex. The problem with that idea is that how many people are responsible enough to take precautions for any accidental results of those actions. This includes pregnancy, STDs, or change in mentality. Face it, most 14-20 year old are not financially fit to raise children nor do they realize the responsibility of the use of contraception.

This is why the age of 18 or 21 is considered being an adult around the world, with some influence of religion, when it comes to virginity. This is why society look down upon girls who lost their virginity if they're under those 2 particular ages. Now for the sexist idea about virginity on girls is mainly influenced by the olden times more than religion. You can't really blame religion since the idea was there on a highly male dominant society of ancient times. It's been a while, but I remember reading a book about the revolving ideas of society and how much it has changed or stayed the same. One of the idea of ownership in comparison to other dominating males, since haivng a wife is considered ownership of old times. Which is harder to achieve? A virgin girl or a slutty girl? As bad as it may sounds, men treat their wives as another part of their "show-off" testosterones of who's more dominating.

Alright...as my final thoughts, I am a guy, not a girl. I am straight and not homosexual. I just happen to like reading how society reacts upon certain subjects from each different time periods.

Did you ever see dogs having sex? IT'S PAINFULL ...

how do we know that? the only way to know it is is to be a dog

Humans are the only race which have orgasm.

how do we know that too? animals can't tell us that, and we aren't them, so how do we get that idea?

I don't know... sex is too much for me to handle *laughs here!* mainly because my whole family is a devoted christian etc, etc... but then, i think of sex as, well, just sex... i mean, you can have it without feeling love for the one you're having with, ne? [one-night stands] ... i still think it's different from "making love" although my psych prof pointed out that "making love" is just a euphemism for "sex"...

as for virginity, i guess it's up to you if you want to lose it or not... i mean, it's your choice. after all, it's your body we're talking about here... but then, i think you shouldn't lose it before marriage mainly because, well, it'd be awkwardf for your future husband or wife if they found out you had sex with someone else, ne? still, i doubt they can even do anything about it since, well, it happened before you guys got married...

but then, having pre-marrital sex could lead to mistrust in relationships and also, it could lead harm to your body [STDs]...

i'm contradicting, ne? (^^;;) i honestly couldn't answer properly today...

I agree but, mind to point me out why it's wrong?

Did you ever see dogs having sex? IT'S PAINFULL ... why should they do it just for the hell of it? Humans are a rare occurance where sex is good. For most animals it's not good (for some are even deadly!). Why is that? simple, once humans started been smarter, they certainly would stop having sex if it were painfull ... or at least, most of them (lol, let's ignore sados). And human race would be extinct because they were smart enough to thing "ugh, sex is painfull let's not do it". It's only natural that it became good.

Humans are the only race which have orgasm.

It's good so they can do it. Yes we upgraded it to "it's good so let's do it all the time" but yet ... where is the wrongness at that? Male organ meets female organs and generates preasure for both. Where is the wrongness?

IMHO ... there is nothing wrong ^^

p.s.: I'm also skinny, using glass and I like anime. But I do have a wife, and I had a nice girlfriend before ... stereotypes have a nice way of been false ...always.

Mind you, I'm no biologist and know as much about sex as the next guy...

I can imagine animals not having orgasams but to say that it's absurdly painful and negative, it dosen't make much sense. Would the incentive to procriate be purely related to instict?. I don't think it makes much sense...

And the reason about we ''enjoying'' sex because we are smarter, if I'm not mistaken, the part of our brain that stimulates pleasure related to sex is quite primitive. I would guess that the only ''upper hand'' we have in the sense that we are smarter, would be the thinking part where fantasies and fetishes come from

Sticking to the topic, I also don't belive in whole stay virgin thing, but I would like my wife to be virjin, I wouldn't require it though

The question is. . . why only us?

Some Interesting Sex Related Facts:
%40 of 10th graders engaged in oral sex in the past year, with a 1/4 reporting 3 or more partners
%14 of 13-14 year old kids are sexually active
MTV broadcasts 18 physical and 17 verbal references to sex per HOUR
The average American teenager will view nearly 14,000 sexual references, innuendos, and jokes each year.
%90 of 8-16 have viewed porn online, most while doing their homework.
The average age of first exposure to porn is 11.
%89 of sexual solicitations are made in chat rooms.

Human Trafficking Facts:
More than 15,000 women are trafficked into the United States every year, many of them young girls from Mexico.

Asian women are sold to brothels in North America for $16,000 each.

Almost 200,000 girls from Nepal, many of them under the age of 14, are working as sex slaves in India.

The Thai government reports that 60,000 Thai children have been sold into prostitution.

As many as 10,000 children aged between six and 14 are virtually enslaved in brothels in Sri Lanka.

Some 20,000 women and children from Burma have been forced into prostitution in Thailand.

My View:
Well I am glad to hear some of you are selfless enough to wait until you are married before having sex. But for the rest let me explain a little bit. I read

"I do not relate sex with love".

When I saw that my jaw dropped. I guess it is to be expected considering what an immoral state this world is in. However, It is very sad that you believe such a thing and so do most people in this day an age. But to put it bluntly its a wrong way to think, why? Well first of that means the sex your having has no meaning to, and it is just another normal comity that we might as well sell at every corner then. Secondly, if the person you having sex with doesn't relate it to love either what is the point in having sex at all? I mean you are both just using each other to get some euphoric high, so we might as well classify sex as a drug then.

Now to target sex before marriage first off there are numerous problems with it just look at the facts I state below. Those are just the beginning. Sex before marriage all comes down to lust and lust is selfish! To put it simply here is an example. Guys in general like to have sex because they like the pleasure as well as �??being in love�?� with their girlfriend. Now the same also apply to girls but they interpret sex differently and also enjoy it in different ways then us guys. But how often do you see the guy and the girl stay together for life? Hardly ever and more often then not one of them ends up pretty hurt. So they had sex and enjoyed it but had no commitment to stay together. Basically it was an entirely selfish act even though they might have said they loved each other they didn�??t really it was all about themselves. They had sex for their own pleasure not because they loved each other but because they wanted to �??feel good�?�. You see their motivation for ever getting together was to please themselves. So now they just go from partner to partner until they get tired of it, or realize that they can never find true love or meaning that way .

When you make the commitment with your girlfriend/boyfriend that you hope to marry to stay a virgin. You have physical evidence that you intend to stay together and learn to love each other. Because love takes time! Now you might very well end up not getting married but hey at least you didn�??t loose your virginity to someone you will never seen again and you weren�??t hurt by it either. Sex is a gift to give to person you marry to show that you loved them so much that instead of being selfish and keeping this gift to yourself you instead have the gift to give to them.

�??Until you are married, sexual purity means saying no to sexual intercourse, oral sex, and even sexual touching. It means saying no to a physical relationship that causes you to be "turned on" sexually. It means not looking at pornography or pictures that feed sexual thoughts. Sexual purity does not end with marriage. Marriage partners are supposed to experience sexual love with each other in a way that is fulfilling to both. However, purity means being completely faithful to your spouse in thought and deed.�?�

Some good reasons for staying abstinent:
(quoted from other sources)

�??What is so great about making a pledge to sexual abstinence�?�?
You experience a great freedom when you practice abstinence until marriage. Along with this freedom you will enjoy several benefits!
You are 100% guaranteed that you won't get pregnant.
It's a sure thing that you will stay STD-free!
You will be spared much emotional pain and heartache.
You will have every opportunity to fulfill your dreams.
If you get married one day, you can present yourself pure to your mate.

The Power of Self-Esteem
One of the biggest factors that lead young people to have sex early and outside of marriage is low self-esteem. Many feel they should give into the pressures of sex so they don't hurt anyone's feelings or because they feel it is something they "should just do". And many times they really aren't ready to take such a big step. Self-esteem can give teens the power to say no to sex, and yes to abstinence until marriage.
In a world where peer pressure and the desire to be "loved" are such strong forces, self-esteem can be a lifeline. When young people feel good about themselves, they are less likely to behave in ways that might hurt them. And even though people with high self-esteem will still make mistakes, they are more likely to learn from them.
Teens must understand that the choices they make today will absolutely affect their futures. Even more important, they must understand that their futures are far more important than impressing or pleasing someone else. It is up to you to make the right decision for you. So have the confidence to make that right decision!


PREGNANCY
The United States has the highest teenage pregnancy rate of all developed countries. About 1 million teenagers become pregnant each year; 95% of those pregnancies are unintended. These numbers would be much different if young people practiced abstinent lifestyles, the ONLY 100 percent effective way to prevent pregnancy. Here are a few facts on what it's like to be a teen parent:
Pregnant teenagers are more likely to drop out of school.
Unwed teenaged mothers run a higher risk of not having the support of the father.
Babies of teenage girls tend to have poorer health or are born low birthweight infants.
Pregnant teenagers are far less likely to receive timely prenatal care in the first trimester of pregnancy and are more likely to smoke during pregnancy.
It's hard to have a social life and take care of a baby.
Two out of three teenaged mothers live in poverty.
The children of teenaged mothers tend to become teenaged mothers themselves.

Teen Pregnancy Statistics - Teen Abortion (abortion is murder there is no way around it read up on it and you will see why)
Nearly 40% of teen pregnancies end in abortion.
In 1996 there were approximately 274,000 abortions among teens.

ABSTINENCE IS 100% EFFECTIVE IN PREVENTING PREGNANCY


STIs
STIs, sexually transmitted infections, can be spread by having sex with another person who is infected. And even though teenagers make up a very small portion of the population, they make up 25% of all people who have STIs. Some STIs are curable, but some are not. Some STIs, such as AIDS, cause death. There is no 100 percent effective way to protect yourself from getting an STI if you are having sex. Abstinence is the only way to avoid contracting and spreading a sexually transmitted disease. Many people who have an STI don't know it. They may look healthy but they still could have an STI. Some people won't tell you, even if they know it.

HIV/AIDS
The great risks is that you can get HIV/AIDS from a single sexual experience . . . with someone you trust . . . even when you have used protection. And once you get HIV, there is no cure. It is not worth the risk.
Why is the risk so great?
There is no way for you to tell if someone has HIV unless that person gets tested and shares the results of their test with you. You can't tell just by looking at someone. Further, condoms can break and people are not always honest. You may not have had sex with others but the other person may have. And, anyone that they had sex with, could have been someone who didn't use protection or might have used drugs.

What is the difference between HIV and AIDS?
HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a condition that destroys the body's immune system leaving the body unable to fight infections or diseases.
AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) is the final stage of HIV disease. It generally starts with a loss of normal body weight, chronic diarrhea, weakness and fever caused by infections other than HIV, the development of certain cancers, and ends with death.

QUOTE

ABSTINENCE IS 100% EFFECTIVE IN PREVENTING PREGNANCY



No, vasectomy is.

yes, abstinence IS 100% effective at preventing pregnancy, because, guess what? abstinence=NO SEX!

Here's a discussion for some of the mature members here in AP. This was a discussion I remembered in my Psychology class, and I'm just interested on the opinions of the members here. If you can't even write a well-thought reply that has correct spelling and punctuation, don't bother to post. I don't want to see some idiot posting some childish reply thinking it was funny.

Guess I'll post anyways.

I feel that the society we live in has twisted and controted sex into something that is wrong. A act that should be looked down. I think that censoring sex on TV is just a joke, I'm not saying that I want to see hardcore porn on TV, I'm just saying that boobs are not something we need to have hidden away from us like some kind sin. That entire thing with Janet Jackson's breast being showed during that one super bowl blew up into a waaay bigger deal than it really was. I don't think that was a really mature thing to do with that many people watching, it being one of the most viewed TV segments in the US, but I also don't see how it's such a bigass deal, it's really not.

I think sex is diffrent for everyone and they should deal with it how they want and when they want. No one has the right to tell other people what is right and wrong with their own sexual life. The only time I think other people should step into you're sexlife is if there is a sign of really bad abuse or something of the like.

Sex is not the evil, it is human nature, lets treat it like that.

Despite the amount of argument presented, everyone still has to respect the fact that everyone has their own views and opinions of the subject. It's not a good idea to judge others as wrong and you are right. This is a forum after all and we're spanding our information to the public. Please treat this public forum like a community as though it was a group of people/audience in real life. Because I see so many people just "loudly" shout out their beliefs in forums, but remains quiet under the presence of other people.

Caiobrz: Sumary. yes, the worlds is a pretty immoral place - until people figure that LOVE is a FEELING and not a PHISICAL ACT.

Lol you obviously are stuck against the idea of abstinence so I wont argue every point against you. I can see that it would a waste of my time. It is your opinion to believe what ever you want to believe and live by it, we all have that right :D However that last little bit of your post caught my attention.

1. Feelings can not be trusted they are created by hormones and chemicals in our brain. One day you may say you love someone because it feels good and the next you will say don't because it doesn't feel good anymore. Point and case.

2. If love can not be expressed physically then what the point in kissing, holding hands, getting married, or anything of the like since those are all physical and don't show at all that you love someone? For that matter since love is supposedly not physical we don't really need another person at all to experience it do we since people are physical things.

I believe that you can show love through physical actions and that is what sex is for. :)

Raksum: Sex is not the evil, it is human nature, lets treat it like that.

I couldn't have said it better you are absolutely right. Sex is a wonderful thing that is apart of who we are.