Dude, following all the quotes get a little confusing... O.o But interesting...

Although I'm christian, my reason for what I say isn't, "Just because God says/perfers us to." No, that's not it. It's the feelings and emotions that get involved.

Anyways, I have personal views that many may not agree with. Personally, for me I really want to wait until marriage. Sure anyone can have sex and feel good afterwards, but how would it feel to think y'all love each other then break up? So many of my friends have lost their virginity and most regret it. Sure sex isn't quote on quote "wrong," but I'll rather loss to someone I will marry and never have one regret about lossing it to someone I'll never see again. Most of us teens like to think we know what love is exactly, but most of us can't even comprehend what it really is. Even I don't know exactly what it is...yet.

I guess it kind of frustrats me when I see these 14-16yr old kids lossing just because they "think" they know what love is.

My older brother has a child with someone that doesn't really act like she cares for him. Truth is, I doubt she does.

I would feel crushed if my future wife lost it before she met me. I mean, as cliche as it is, you can't get that experience back. I would be hard for me to get over... Not saying I wouldn't be able to get over it because I know "things happen," but that would really hurt. Sure anyone can have sex, but what good is it without love? It would be more fulfilling with some you love; more intimate. Not just a physical being ready to pleasure you. There should be an emotional and physical connection.

If you are just having sex just to have sex, why bother looking for girls? Just pick up a video and have your right hand ready. I mean, w/o intimate feelings of love, what's the difference right?

So go a head, hit me in the face if you wish. You'll have a fist coming back twice as hard :)

Okay, I might not be really mature (just 16 years old) but here's my awnser to the main questions in the first post.

My impression of sex, well, I'm not even sure about that. I mean, it has to be something romantic, that's what I think it should be and when I will have sex one day I would like it to be romantic. But nowadays, it seems as if people are having sex because of lust, just for fun, just for the sex. Now, I'm not saying sex shouldn't be fun, what I'm trying to say is that I feel like sex was used to be seen as something beautiful, something romantic. Some people still see it like that, but others don't, or partially. Some see sex as a product, and that's not what I think it is. I have friends that sometimes ask stuff like 'And did you have sex this vacation?'. That just shocks me, I mean, is sex really something that can be done everywhere, with every guy/girl? Shouldn't there be a relationship and love? I don't think a relationship can be built up in a couple of days.
These days, I've been thinking. My feelings tell me I don't need sex, and that's true, I think. I think I'd rather hold someone close to me, than to do it with her. Though, these thoughts might just be rubbish.
I don't think you need a marriage to have sex. It doesn't really matter, a marriage or not, what it's all about is if you love eachother. Well, that's what I think...

Yeah well, virginity, heh. Well, I can't really judge that. It indicates if someone's 'clean' or not. It's an odd thing.
I think it's different for everyone. It's also important how you lost your virginity, was it in a romantic event, or was it an accident, because you were drunk? There are huge differences here, one is a true momento, maybe something you'd never want to forget, but the last one is kind of.. ehm... silly... or something.
Anyway, I don't think it's fair that society puts a greater pressure on women to be virgins than they do on men. I mean, it's the same for both men and women, the only thing that's different is, well, the genital thingies.
If you look at it in a rough way, you'd say, a man gives and a woman recieves, but in the end, they both give and recieve, if you know what I mean. Maybe not in material, but with feelings and such. That's what should make sex special, but also these things are lost when we look at sex as a mere product.
Heh, I think I'd like it if my future wife would be a virgin, I don't know why. I think I would feel weird if someone else has already thingy'd her, you know? Well, maybe not... I'm not sure, but I don't think I have to be, as I still am young.

Personally, at this time, I don't really care about sex. I think I'm too young for it anyway. And I have other things to do that are more important, like school. Yes yes, I'm on holiday now but I don't care, hehe. Not now. Dude, what am I talking about, I don't even have a girlfriend so what's up with these thoughts :neko:

Maybe I am being a little bit idealistic. Sorry about that, but this is my opinion.

This is a very interesting topic. :D
Alright, this is my opinion on the matter.

I'm not very religious, but because of my nationality, I was raised with the impression that girls should remain virgins until marriage. Now that I am 19-years of age going to 20 next month, this ideal still remains with me. Still, I believe that woman shouldn't be pressured to remain virgins. As long as once they loose their virginity they don't regret it, then it's okay.

I personally remain a virgin because I have this idea of giving my virginity to my husband as a "gift" for our marriage. Silly, I know, but it's just the way I think. Now do I require my husband to be also a virgin? Not nessesarily. Actually, I wouldn't mind him having a bit of experience.

"Honey, what do we do now?

:D

Now, as to my impression of sex...to me, sex means love, passion. I know, however, that not everyone have sex because they love the other person, which is kind of sad, but I wouldn't have sex with someone whom I didn't love.

This subject is a little touchy for some, so I'll try to stay vague. God or whoever created gave us free will, or the ability to think or decide ourselves. So, I would think that some will be this way and others that. Personally, I plan on waiting until marriage (of course, that probably won't happen either) before "doing it." I really don't care what anyone does because... well, I've been told sometimes it's better to stay out of other people's business. To conclude, I don't give a rat's behind as long as it's not rape.

WhiteBlaze: being married doesn't magically make people good parents, it doesn't magically make them want kids, Hell it doesn't even mean (necessarily) that people are actually devoted to each other. A lot of marriages end in divorce. And a lot of husbands leave wives with children. Waiting to have sex after marriage does not solve the problem of abandonment.

So fucking true. I hate it when I hear, "Your parents know best" Bullshit, so many teenagers are forced to marry due to pregnancy. So many "parents" dont know how to be parents. And being married does not magically give you all the knowledge of the universe. You're still the same stupid self you were before. And having sex when you're married does not guarantee that you wont get an STD.

I think quoting others and further explaing or countering is the best thing to do here, as if we all just reply what we think., things will get very monotonous and boring.

But I think "you shouldn't have sex till you're ready to have kids" is pretty ridiculous. (no offense intended) What about married people that don't want kids?

what i meant by that wasn't marrage, i meant in levels of maturity and just where you are in your life.
honestly i'm lucky. atfer what happened to me, i could have gotten pregnant, and since i don't believe in abortion, i would have had the child, or however many i would have been forced to give life to by my ex-boyfriends selfish and hurtful acts. my life, honestly, would have been ruined. i wouldn't be able to go to school like i am now. i wouldn't have the money.
what i mean is, plan ahead. with everything there is a possibility of pregnancy happening. unfortunatly, humans have that, "it'll never happen to me" mentallity. like they're immortal or something. christ, i did. but i grew up faster than i would have liked. i honestly feel like before you decide you're ready and gonna go for it, stop and think...'what would happen if i got pregnant. would i still be able to do this? go to school? (or whatever it is that you're doing)" if you're honestly willing to accept that, than fine, go for it. like is aid, i'm not going to jusge people on if they've had sex before. so long as they're not stupid about it. for me, that fear for an entire month of having my life ruined was worse than what had caused it. by a million times at least.
i don't mean you should only do it to have children. just make sure you're at a place in your life where if you DID have children, your life wouldn't fall apart.
personally, i don't want to have kids. if i WAS going to have kids, i'd adopt them (that whole pain during birth thing just doesn't do it for me). but that doesn't mean i'll never have sex. but i'll make sure i'm at a point in my life, where if i accidentally got pregnant, i would be stable enough in my life to support it. have a job, be out of school, etc.

and for whiteblaze, since theres a lot to quote, i just won't.
i'm sorry to hear about that. but it seems you've turned out just fine, which is a good sign.
i'll tell you about that guy i dated a bit. his mother got pregnant by his father when she was about 17/18. it was an accident. and she thought about having an abortion, but thank god she didn't. she had him, and they tried to work out the relationship, but when he was about 2 or 3 i believe, they split. now, here's the thing. both his parents were abusive. his mother mentally and verbally, and his father physically. his father remarried, and his mother dated i guess. he kind of went back and forth between his family members, and was abused no matter where he went. the stories i could tell of him and his father, and him and his mother, would make you physically sick. so, even after what he did to me, i have a lot of sympathy for him. you would THINK that coming from a home like that he'd want to wait, but like i said...he did whatever he could. no means was too low for him.
it makes me happy to see how you came out of your situation headstrong. :3

So fucking true. I hate it when I hear, "Your parents know best" Bullshit, so many teenagers are forced to marry due to pregnancy. So many "parents" dont know how to be parents. And being married does not magically give you all the knowledge of the universe. You're still the same stupid self you were before. And having sex when you're married does not guarantee that you wont get an STD.

one thing on that. of course not all parents know best. but it depends on the parents. i believe the saying more so implys to the fact that your parents have been in situations before, and have been able to learn from experience. it's not so much that they know best, it's more like they love you, and care about you more than anyone in the world (in most cases) and will do all they can to see you succeed.
when i was a teenager, do you think i believed my parents had any idea what they were talking about? hell no. but all of a sudden, one day i literally snapped out of it. and realized just WHO my parents were. i spoke to my friends, and they've all pretty much said the same thing.
okay, 2 things. and no, having sex when you're married does not guarantee that you wo't get an STD. it would be stupid to think so. and while anyone can get tested, it's just nice to know just how much they got around, and to know that it was very little. theres just a better chance for the people that go off and sleepa round with random people for no reason, no questions asked. because chances are, they've been with people before in the same situation. and chances are so were some of their partners. and their partners partners. and so on down the line. i mean, hell...you can be BORN with aids. but the whole thing is about being safer in the steps you take to help prevent it.

WhiteBlaze: being married doesn't magically make people good parents, it doesn't magically make them want kids, Hell it doesn't even mean (necessarily) that people are actually devoted to each other. A lot of marriages end in divorce. And a lot of husbands leave wives with children. Waiting to have sex after marriage does not solve the problem of abandonment.

Your absolutely correct! Allot of people are plain mean and are in relations ship all for themselves.

43% of first marriages end within 15 years.
Red states have a divorce rate 27% higher than blue states.
75% of all divorced people re-marry, half of them within three years.
The united States has a 49% divorce rate

Thos are pretty staggering rates if you ask me. But I never said sex directly effect marriages at least not yet, but now I will. Just take a look at the data from the National Longitudinal Study of Youth that was collected between 1979 and 2000 has to say.

"The researchers analyzed data on 3,750 men and 3,620 women, approximately half of whom reported being virgins at age 18 and half reported having had intercourse by that age. The study found that 20 years after the initial data collection men and women who had reported being virgins at age 18 were about 50% less likely to be divorced, had completed one additional year of formal education and had annual incomes about 20% higher than people who were not virgins at age 18. The study also found that women who were virgins at age 18 were half as likely to receive government assistance and more likely to have a positive financial net worth than women who reported having had sex by age 18."

Allot of marriages these days are based of whether or not the 2 people make good sex partners. So when they finally get tired of each other they either have an affair or get divorced. So that brings us to the logical conclusion that yes abstinence does effect divorce rates. Of course their are other reasons why people get divorced and why fathers or mothers just leave their family behind. Did you read my story because that is one example in itself. My "dad" didn't wont the responsibility of having a kid so he just up and left us. Then some people go insane and some kill their family or loved ones. I know its a bit extreme but its true. By the way I happen to have 2 friends that grew up with a "good" dad for many years and they both left to go after other women. The surprising thing is that neither one was a virgin when they got married. Just something to think on.

Oh an totally off topic how did you come up with the name Pumpkinchick it so cute XD

So go a head, hit me in the face if you wish. You'll have a fist coming back twice as hard :)

Wow nice line dude I got to memorize that one! Oh and great message btw.

I personally remain a virgin because I have this idea of giving my virginity to my husband as a "gift" for our marriage. Silly, I know, but it's just the way I think.

Awesome! You hit it right on the head. Just like I said in my first post sex is a gift to give to your mate :)

"The researchers analyzed data on 3,750 men and 3,620 women, approximately half of whom reported being virgins at age 18 and half reported having had intercourse by that age. The study found that 20 years after the initial data collection men and women who had reported being virgins at age 18 were about 50% less likely to be divorced, had completed one additional year of formal education and had annual incomes about 20% higher than people who were not virgins at age 18. The study also found that women who were virgins at age 18 were half as likely to receive government assistance and more likely to have a positive financial net worth than women who reported having had sex by age 18."

I'm not certain that really applies to this debate though. If we were debating, "how old do you have to be to emotionally deal with sex?" or something, then it would make sense. But keep in mind that most people (in the US at least) don't get married until they're around their mid-twenties. Just because you're still a virgin when you're 18, that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to hold off until you're married.

I'm not against waiting until you're married or anything. It's a choice we all have to make for ourselves. Me personally though...I just think that sex is way too important in a relationship for you to find out after you pledge to be together forever if you enjoy it with your partner. I think people should know exactly what they're getting into. I'm definitely not an advocate of the one night stand or anything, I think that sex should be reserved for serious relationships. But marriage is just one kind of relationship, and it's not necessarily any more permanent than others.

Oh an totally off topic how did you come up with the name Pumpkinchick it so cute XD

It's a Smashing Pumpkins reference. :)

Besides some of the naive assumptions and misinformed statements that a couple have made, I agree with alot of you and respect your stance on the issues. I suppose it all boils down to personal beliefs and ideals relative to your own situations and experiences.

With that in mind, I'd have to say that sex to me can mean a couple things. Obviously the main function/reason for sex is to procreate, no one can deny that essential fact, although many can try to sugar coat it. I also wholeheartedly attach the meaning of sex to love. I truly believe that without that deep connection and dedication you are doing it for the wrong reason. There are obviously alot of people in our society who embrace sex as recreational and purely lustful as some have pointed out. too many of my friends have gone through that phase of wanting to hook up with as many partners as they could like it was some sort of contest. this can lead to those disgusting fucktards who force themselves on women with no regard for the repercussions, both mental and physical.

I've had the luxury of having solid relationships where I was able to explore and grow in terms of my sexuality. sure I was naive and idealistic at first, with some silly notions about what sharing the experience with someone meant, but in retrospect it was all positive and I learned alot about myself in the process. I obviously can't say either way if someone should wait till marriage or not, and I have nothing but respect for someone who has made the decision to wait. whether it be for religious, cultural, or other important reasons. the decision is up to the individual. Whether a person is a virgin or has had experience has no bearing on whether or not I am willing to love, care, and dedicate myself to that person. I'd like to think that relationships/marriages are built on more substantial ground.

thats it, I had some other thoughts but I was never any good at articulating with words anyway... I just hope that younger people today can stop and think about the responsibility and issues that come with becoming sexually active. unfortunately our society hasnt done a good job of educating and abating all the underage kids who just rush into it.

Ok, there's people in here that I want to hit in the face and people I want to hug and give my thumbs up to.

glad to see that some people hate religious fanatics as much as I do. And fun to see conservative little kids as well.

hate it when I hear, "Your parents know best" Bullshit, so many teenagers are forced to marry due to pregnancy. So many "parents" dont know how to be parents. And being married does not magically give you all the knowledge of the universe. You're still the same stupid self you were before. And having sex when you're married does not guarantee that you wont get an STD.

Hey man, it's amazing to see a 14yr old kid know so much about the real world. *sarcasm*

Sure people may not have the same beliefs or morals as you, but heck, stop bashing others. I mean, what does that prove? Nothing but ignorance

Quotes are out of order, I know.

IMO, I think WhiteBlaze needs to get laid

Um.....you haven't read anything I wrote did you 0.o or maybe you did -_-
Anyways, I could of had sex multiple times already but I have said no every time. Quite frankly I don't think I should unless I can 1. Devote the rest of my life to the girl otherwise the act was meaningless and I am just another random partner. 2. I am able and ready to take care of a kid. Another large reason that I wont have sex until marriage is that I am totally against "have sex cause its cool

Just kiddin ya Blaze. I really think it's up to whatever you feel is best, I was just trying to get a laugh out of you.

Ok, there's people in here that I want to hit in the face and people I want to hug and give my thumbs up to.

glad to see that some people hate religious fanatics as much as I do. And fun to see conservative little kids as well.

hate it when I hear, "Your parents know best" Bullshit, so many teenagers are forced to marry due to pregnancy. So many "parents" dont know how to be parents. And being married does not magically give you all the knowledge of the universe. You're still the same stupid self you were before. And having sex when you're married does not guarantee that you wont get an STD.

Hey man, it's amazing to see a 14yr old kid know so much about the real world. *sarcasm*

Sure people may not have the same beliefs or morals as you, but heck, stop bashing others. I mean, what does that prove? Nothing but ignorance

Even though i'd like to, I didn't directly bash any member here. And definately not in those quotes. I actually supported a guy's statement in the second quote.

And sorry that i'm just some stupid 14 year old teenager that thinks he know everything about the world. Maybe if I was 19 like you, i'd be able to understand my stupidity. Because, clearly, the older you are the smarter you get, right? I mean, i've never met anyone who was older than me and wasn't smarter than me as well... " *sarcasm* "


Whatever, it's cool man. I feel people are going to start losing it here. And i'm going to be one of the first too.
So fuck it, i'll try to keep cool.

Oh no the thread was brought back to the top 0_0 RUN! XD

Just kiddin ya Blaze. I really think it's up to whatever you feel is best, I was just trying to get a laugh out of you.

Lol no problem dude I totally understood you were joking, glad you got some fun out of me :P ;)

Hey man, sorry if I came off the wrong way. I wasn't saying that your just a kid that knows nothing. That wasn't my intent at all. Obviously you have a mind and think for yourself instead of regurgitating things people say. To be honest, most people don't. I was just trying to say that when others bash people just because of their perferences or religion, it really comes off as immature. Heck, I'll be the first to admit I've said things with out giving much thought to it. I'm guilty as heck. Anyways, no harm done either way...
Some will wait, others wont. What have you...

Don't mean to start arguments of anykind. It's all about getting what we need to say off our chest :P

Sorry about that.

43% of first marriages end within 15 years.
Red states have a divorce rate 27% higher than blue states.
75% of all divorced people re-marry, half of them within three years.
The united States has a 49% divorce rate
....
"The researchers analyzed data on 3,750 men and 3,620 women, approximately half of whom reported being virgins at age 18 and half reported having had intercourse by that age. The study found that 20 years after the initial data collection men and women who had reported being virgins at age 18 were about 50% less likely to be divorced, had completed one additional year of formal education and had annual incomes about 20% higher than people who were not virgins at age 18. The study also found that women who were virgins at age 18 were half as likely to receive government assistance and more likely to have a positive financial net worth than women who reported having had sex by age 18."

That's actually pretty interesting. Never knew that before. I guess it's because I was taking an apporach from the emotional aspects. But it's kind of cool to see something from a psychology and sociological point of view.

I am 16 years old and i am virgin yet i am not sad about that because man or woman who are 20 years old is virgin i don't care o waitfor the right time^^