About a year and a half ago, my girlfriend had to move out of state...

I live in California, and she had to move to Arizona. The distance isn't too far, but far enough that we can't see each other for probably another year. We decided, when she moved, that we didn't want to break up and that we wanted to try and make this work out.

We were told by most people that it wouldn't work out, but here we are a year and a half later. We struggle from time to time, but when we see each other, it's much more amazing than a normal relationship.

The only reason why I believe we've made it this far is trust. We've both accused each other of cheating once to realize that we were just being stupid. We both trust each other with our lives, and we hope to make it through this final year (as she plans to move back to California during the summer of next year).

What are your thoughts? Do you believe a long distance relationship can work out? Do you think it's likely? What do you think is needed for a long distance relationship to exist?

(By the way, if you didn't catch this yet, she used to live here. We were friends for years before she had to move.)

Well, since last September, i got my internet back, and i did not know about chatting and those things since then. I did install msn, and a colegue got me on hi5, a site like my space and so on, where you can have a profile and all, actually, i went there only to have a personal space and since i was there, added 2 people, now i did get to meet so many anime freaks, i did not even knew about all this, and it is due to those friends that i did learn so much withing these few months, for example, i would never have crossed animepaper if i was not looking for a megaman pics for a friend, you see, even if there are oceans within us, it does not really bother us to be good friends, but for dating thing it is another story lol, of course it is, well to answer the question now, i think long distance relationship ( internet, letter, mail and so on ) is as same as a close distance relationship if the two person really know how to give a meaning to this big word which is relationship. If both wish it to work out it will work, but hmm am wondering if this thread is appropriate, anyways, for it to exist, you did mention one important thing earlier, that is trust, without trust, i do not believe it could work 1st of all, also, i never heard that people need to be close 7/7 for such relationship to work, being away for a while does not really imply that it will not work, what people say do not define a relationship, it is the relationship that defines what people say

I believe that some questions has been answered by yourself :] And Maverick already repeat it. Trust. Just that one simple word. Simple maybe, but as we all know, hard to do. From what I see, most relationships' break down start with the attitude of doubting their bf/gf(s). Trust is really important, for you and for her. For you it means to believe that her love to you is pure, and she'll be loyal to you, don't care how much distance separate both of you. And it happened for her too, that you love her and will be loyal to her.

Maverickslayer

without trust, i do not believe it could work 1st of all, also, i never heard that people need to be close 7/7 for such relationship to work, being away for a while does not really imply that it will not work, what people say do not define a relationship, it is the relationship that defines what people say

*nods* I agree with this statement. Every couple has their own way in a relationship. Some couples want their lovers to stay right beside them. To meet them everday, going for lunch together, talking on the phone.. While for others, they don't have to prove it in that way. Don't have to be close physically because you know your heart and hers are far more closer than that, because you believe you could trust your lover even there's far distance between you.

Wish the best for your relationship.

Regards, Yuki

I think long distance relationships are both good and bad. my boyfriend lives only a mile or two away from me, but considering i'm only a freshmen in high school. Going to a different school counts as a long distance relationship. my relationship sounds really amateur i know, but i have been with him for 4 years now and i know the relationship is not coming to any kind of end soon.

I totally agree with nekone041 that what makes long distance relationships work is trust. You have to be able to trust the other to not throw you away and go with someone new. It's gets a little hard at times, and they can't always be there when you need them. I think a long distance relationship helps strengthen the bond. Because you can't see them as much as others do or some days you can't even talk to them at all...seeing them, or hearing their voice after a while kind of makes the moments you have together more precious and more valuable. Trust is strengthened, you appreciate them more, and if you ever do have a fight, it's easier to cool off. The bad side of it is that you have to look at a long distance relationship optimistically and not betray the trust. I know some people would have two relationships at once cause one of them is a long distance one, or it's not deep of a relationship. Not being able to be with your bf/gf get's hard and seeing other couples makes it harder >.< but i think, if you held on and trusted each other, things will work out. I personally wish i can see my bf every minute of everyday but I'm content with being to see him a couple times a month and i trust him when we're not together. I think if you loved the other enough and would endure anything to be together, everything will work out.

I had thought about starting one, but my opinion of the matter is that you're just tying each other up. Too many distractions...

Well, a long distance relationship will work if both of you want it to work and really love each other.

But i dare not tread upon that (if i get a GF if ever...which is unlikely) cuz my sister has a long distance relationship. Shes in UK whilst her boyfriend is in the Philippines. And i just hear her yapp sometimes about her boyfriend being like this and that and geez...im not surprised if they break up.

Not that i want them to break up or trying to discourage anyone whos gonna attempt it

one things for sure...its gonna be tough

Well your case of long distance relationship might actually work out!! Since you know the girl well and have been together for quite a long time and you have a strong reason to keep it up, also she is coming back.. Its not like she has moved forever..
I don't believe in long distance relationship as such.. The type I'm talking about is when people fall in love over the internet from different places or have met only a few times, but live in different places (like some one you met when you took a family vacation). According to me its not practical as you start to lose interest after a few months (sometimes even days!), not only that, you also get frequent doubts on the person you claim to love.. And doubts are a sure way to break relationships!
Its better not to have a long distance relationship of that type!!

Hmm I have bad expieriences with long distance relationships...
I didn't work, we saw us only once in 2 months... I didn't know what was going on and then he had another girlfriend
But I think those relationships can work if you really really like her/him

Yeah. I think everyone has pointed it out, it's really about trust and power of affection

I have to say that long distance relationship cannot remain very long time for most couples even for friends!

Quatitive change will lead to qualitative change in the end..

From my own sad experience~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dated a guy online for a few months. He didn't live too far away, but the distance still put a damper on things, especially when we couldn't see eachother very often.

But as many people pointed out, it really depends on trust and the level of affection you have for the other. However it also depends on the person in general; take me, for example, I believe the physical part of a relationship is just as important as good communication and loyalty - so obviously I'm no good at long distance relationships because of that.

Well so far me and my gf has been pretty good. Its been a 4 months relationship with no arguments yet. I live in texas while she lives in Pennsylvania. Im planning on going up there next month to pay a visit cause I got a job now which means i can afford a plane ticket. To me basically the relationship will last only if as everyone already said it before trust each other. Dont doubt them and so far I havent doubted her not even once. So if you wanna give a long distance relationship a whirl just make sure you know your partner very well and dont do anything stupid that would cause you two to break up.

Don't work...

Maybe i'm wrong but, in my opinion, sooner or later one or the other will end up finding another "someone"... Love needs presence... needs time spent together


even friendship grows weaker with distance... i don't know, but i wouldn't be optimistic about the future of the relationship... srry =/

Giria

even friendship grows weaker with distance

Umm... your wrong on that. Me and friend hasnt talked for 4 years and we finally talked yesterday and we are still close friends as I always was with her.

If there's love, distance doesn't really matter.

But also, sometimes when you love someone, you also know the best thing would be to let that person go and make something new in a new place. I learned that with my first girlfriend. When she moved, we decided to break out our relationship, because the distance between us was enormous (+12 hours driving), we were gonna be busy with college and it overall would be a pain to not be together. In the end, it was the correct decision.

Even though I now have something kinda... special with someone who also lives too far away from me (in few words: a totally different country, though it's not very far), and so far my feelings for that person haven't changed at all ^^ And that person has been very wonderful with me.

It all depends on how you feel about that person, really.