I've seen children who go around boasting that they have a girlfriend and how cool they are, which is quite ridiculous, in my opinion. There are people who say that age matters not in love, but I beg to differ. Age DOES matter in love, because age and maturity share a positive correlation. Anyone who thinks otherwise should also consider the idea that you can consciously love as early as age three.

As you mature, your brain is able to fathom love's true extent more fully. I believe you love your parents more and more as you get older (if you don't have reason to hate them, that is), because your capability increases. And as I'm sure people have mentioned, despite me not reading this whole thread, love isn't all about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships: in fact, most of it is centered around family, friends (yes, you can love your friends without being weird), God, favorite possessions, pets, etc), but let's get back to the topic here. I'm talking about love as in romance, not family love or love for your pet.

The reason somebody couldn't truly love at three years old is because they aren't mature yet, and there would be nobody for them to truly love properly, nobody to share their feelings with, because even in the extremely near impossible event that it did happen (it most likely never will), there wouldn't be another three year old who could share his/her feelings with him. - Like I said though, that is highly unlikely and will probably never happen, due to maturity never coming that early.

Maturity for some people comes early, for some late, but as much as I hate to admit it you usually gain maturity with age. And maturity has got to do with love in some ways. You don't really need anything for infatuation, but for love you need some form of maturity. Apparently, this seems to all boil down to when we think maturity starts.

If we're talking full-fledged kiddies here, the formal-operational stage (final stage of human logical thinking) begins at age 11. That's about the age of most of these kids who think they know what love is, right? Notice I said that this is the beginning, meaning you now have the capability to think about this logically but still need experience under your belt. Anyone who hasn't even gotten to this stage yet needs to quiet down and wait a year or so longer, because you single-digit age guys aren't even able to entirely think straight yet. Not your fault, of course.

Referencing from Erik Erikson, if you want to master love, you'd have to be in the 18-24 years of age.

* Psychosocial Crisis: Intimacy vs. Isolation

Body and ego must be masters of organ modes and of the other nuclear conflicts in order to face the fear of ego loss in situations which call for self-abandon. The avoidance of these experiences leads to isolation and self-absorption. The counterpart of intimacy is distantiation, which is the readiness to isolate and destroy forces and people whose essence seems dangerous to one's own. Now true genitality can fully develop. The danger at this stage is isolation, which can lead to severe character problems.

* Central Task: Caregiving
* Positive Outcome: Form close relationships and share with others
* Ego Quality: Love
* Definition: Capacity for mutuality that transcends childhood dependency
* Developmental Task: Stable relationships; Child bearing; Work etc.
* Significant Relations: Marital partner, friends.

Erikson's listed criteria for "genital utopia" illustrate his insistence on the role of many modes and modalities in harmony:

* mutuality of orgasm
* with a loved partner
* of opposite sex
* with whom one is willing and able to share a trust, and
* with whom one is willing and able to regulate the cycles of work, procreation, and recreation
* so as to secure to the offspring all the stages of satisfactory development

Professor Erickson says that the only people who really would know squat about love are beyond the legal drinking age. Awkward, isn't it?

Most of the teenagers fall in the Stage 5 category: Identity versus Role Confusion. You're trying to seek out your role in the world, and you're being ripped apart internally by those crazy hormones of yours during the process. It's little wonder that kids who think they know what real love is would be ridiculed by those older and experienced at it. You may as well try sneaking into an R-rated movie by wearing a trench coat and stilts.


Bottom line: You'd have to be either REALLY smart or REALLY ignorant to believe in real love at ages 10 through 14. And in most cases, since those of you turning eleven are just now figuring out how to use your brains for independent thought (for the first time ever), you're in no position to be fancying yourselves as real lovers already . . . unless you believe that the true young age for knowing love is when you can first start consciously feeling affection towards the parents who've nurtured you. AKA, 2 or 3 years of age. Agreed, there are some exceptions, as there are for every category of life. But only about two percent.

What is a "broken heart" at a teenager's age, really? Is it an irremovable scar that will haunt him for the remainder of your life, or just the temporary mourning of a lost friendship . . . with a little lust attatched to this particular one?

Correction to a common misconception: It's NOT "love at first sight." It's "lust at first sight." Love comes later. Sorry, it's true, we humans are slaves of first impressions. For us, it's outer beauty before inner beauty. Pablo Francisco has it figured out.

Well, i can see children always want to look like adult so some of them get a boy/girl friend when they was young......

Completely agree with the first post. I thought I was in "love" at 15, boy was I wrong. The older I get, the more I see that hey, I'm still child-like in many ways.

Uhm.. well, no, I don't think it's possible. Love sometimes also means (for guys at least xP) attrected in a sexual way, and children simply are not able to get this feeling. Also, until a certain you simply don't have a clue what a real relationship is. This might be different for everyone and I think the average is like.. 16 or 17. Not saying it's not possible to have relationship at a young age, but it's more likely to fail anyways.

And I agree with ~lixu, too. But I think this only counts for the age of about 4-6. After that most children start being a bit more independant :)

Might be a nice subject for dr Phil btw :D

[Edit]
Also, I think your body starts making chemicals from a certain age like testoron(sp?) and a few others which make you able to love someone. Children don't have this, so the relationships are 'fake'.

I think the ability to love (strictly 'romantic' love) begins around puberty for most people. Keep in mind that I take a biological minimalist view of love. For as much as I respect Erik Erikson as a psychologist, and I do think he has been foundational to the developmental psychological field, he is much more of a romantisist and proponent of folk psychology than I am. His criteria for genital utopia are one of the few things I do not like about his theories though. At best I find them childish and full of unnecessary requirements, at worst outright offensive to homosexuals and to the population in general. As a whole I still love his work though, but I see it as a more primitive stab at setting a good foundation for developmental psychology in general than something that should be taken as gospel.

Peace

Huh? why not? they are a human, too..rite?
:P

On what age? 10? No. I don't believe in love at those ages. Older then 12 I say.

Hmmm... interesting and debatable topic.

But i believe that there really is no set age for love. I mean, it's not like... oh ok... 16.. so... *POOF!* Ahh... now i know whats attraction. And... now... 18... so... *POOF!!* Ahun... now i know whats love. And... 24.... so... *POOF!* now i know whats marriage.

WTF?!?!

Now thats just an example.

It is true, love comes in many different forms. And although all those forms are different and on different levels, they are more or less the same.

But love as in passion/romance can come at any point of time to any damn person. How can you say that younger children can't fall in love?? Don't they love their parents?? They do. And that means they can love. And if they can share that type of love, they can very well fall in love that... 'romantic' way or whatever.

Love is not a product. It's not manufactured that it starts up at a certain age and dies at another.

It's a feeling which is imbibed into the human character since the point of birth till death.

It's just that the human only understands at a later stage/age that what he/she is feeling towards the other person is the feeling/emotion called 'Love'.

Maturity is understanding. And experience. It doesn't 'enable' anything in you. All it does is give you more wisdom. And love doesn't require wisdom as much. It's not a fission process or some kind of a sub-atomic particle theory!!

It's a feeling, it can happen at practically any moment, any day. Even a 5 yr old may fall in love with someone. In the romantic way. But of course, he/she may definitely not understand what that feeling is called but he/she will definitely feel for that person everytime. Maybe more than the adult, because a young child's mind is less materialistic than the adult. Maybe more selfish but still..

The teen yrs however, are a confusing time. It's the point between adulthood and and childhood... or... whatever that period is called... >_>

The teenage mind is almost always confused. Because at that time, the feeling of physical attraction also comes in. That is why he/she may not necessarily be loving the other person as how love actually is. Maybe not the person but his/her physique and popularity.

But it's absolutely incorrect to say that humans of younger age cannot fall in love. They most definitely can and they do. It's just that they don't understand it well. If you go and ask any such kid, he/she would just get embarrassed and probably would say that he/she likes the other person very much.

He/She may never confess to the other person those three words either. But all their gestures towards the person can say it all.

And if as you say, only adults understand love, then, why is there such a high rate of re-marriages in this world?? Kids don't get married. Only adults do. So, for the adult, does love come with an expiry date? As they are so 'mature' that they can understand it so well?? Get married with one person now, have all the fun and enjoyment and pleasures with him/her and after some years i'll get bored and probably find another human. Is that how it is?? Love, according to the adult??

I've seen kids have such strong feelings towards a particular person that they don't leave him/her even during the confusing teen yrs. They don't change. Thats love.

You can never have a set definition for this kind of a thing. It doesn't apply to all. Everyone is different. With different levels of understanding and growth of emotions.

There are no zeros and ones for love. It's a quite difficult to actually analyze love. And give a set definition or time period for it's summoning which can be applied to all or is universal. In this case, there are a lot of exceptions.

Some teens mistake love for only attraction. But there are quite a few who actually are in love. But they may not be able to understand it themselves. All they care about then is keeping the love.

And for them, there can always be a broken heart. Because if at all the feelings shared by one, is not reciprocated/reflected by the other, then it will definitely have a very strong and deep impact on the emotional status of the kid.

They may not be able to fall in love again ever again. Maybe they are still able to but they just won't. If you understand what i mean...

But at the same time, for some, love is just a work of chemicals reactions happening in the brain. And so, they can always have those reactions triggered at the sight of some other human who satisfies the criteria set for the release of the chemicals.

There really is no set thing for this. And it's absolutely a complete waste of time, resources and efforts to try to 'understand' and/or 'analyze' love. It's a very wide topic which cannot have a set definition. It'll always have moot results.

Warmest regards,
The Firestorm

I think that alot of love at a young age can in some cases be great and what not but it never lasts forever. Young people lack the wisdom and maturity to maintain a relation ship like that in most cases.

Young love is just as confusing and meaningful as love in adulthood, it's a good way of finding motivation and relieveing stress.

Age DOES matter in love, because age and maturity share a positive correlation. Anyone who thinks otherwise should also consider the idea that you can consciously love as early as age three.

I think your right that there is a limit to when someone truely knows what love is. There is a possiblity that one person can find it sooner then others, but saying a 3 year old knows what it is, is a bit silly. Children are probably told what love is, but actually experiancing it and knowing what it is, I doubt.

Love sometimes also means (for guys at least xP) attrected in a sexual way, and children simply are not able to get this feeling.

That's not true. Don't get love confused with lust or physical attraction.

And if as you say, only adults understand love, then, why is there such a high rate of re-marriages in this world?? Kids don't get married. Only adults do. So, for the adult, does love come with an expiry date? As they are so 'mature' that they can understand it so well?? Get married with one person now, have all the fun and enjoyment and pleasures with him/her and after some years i'll get bored and probably find another human. Is that how it is?? Love, according to the adult??

Divorce can deal with many problems. This is something you can't place in one judgment of why they re-marry. Also just because your considered married doesn't mean you love someone. I understand that when you make a commitment with someone you're suppost to keep it, but if you don't treat your parter with that kind of respect you obviously don't love them. Marriage is just a title that is filled with commitment and values, I'm not saying that it's bad, but it also does not prove that you love someone. Love is about action.

I think it's possible (im thinking like teenager age), but more likely just to have relationships w/e... and it gets deeper as you age, but I don't think it's impossible or anything, people can feel however they want, regardless of if they understand it.

Well if it´s on a sexual way kid´s do mature way faster, but i had a gf just a few month´s ago she was 14 and it was real lov but it´s just they don´t rly understand how to hold onto it, so i think it´s real lov but they can´t hold onto it for long

Not in an adult understanding of love. I think for childern love is not much more than friendship.

In my point-of-view, love during a couple's teenage years is not truly even love, more like a "crush" on each other, with both the crushes "returned". In a way, love is to care for someone, without actually needing the love returned, however, a "crush" would require the feelings returned.

SPOILER (click to view)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interpersonal_chemistry
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_in_love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_relationship
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love[/spoiler]