Hi everyone! ^_^

Well, i am talking about marriages that really are made in heaven but broken on earth! XD

Why is it that there is such a high and growing level of re-marriages? Is marriage just some kind of a pass time?? Like playing games?? You eventually get bored of it and get another game. Is it like that??

Why doesn't the marriage 'not work'??

Do you believe in the institution of marriage?? Why? Why not??
Do you think that marriage is necessary to prove the love between the two?? Is marriage important?? Why? Why not??

Why do celebs get married, re-married, re-re-married, re-re-re-remarried and so on??

What is marriage anyways?? Whats it's purpose? Is it just a trend? Or a necessity?

Just curious...

Warmest regards,
The Firestorm

I think it depends on the person and the situation. Some people get married for lame reason like money or because they get someone pregnant and then you have young people that get married because they think they're going to be together forever.

Honestly I thinks it's because of a life style that someone chooses ot live. The typical marriage is a man that doesnt really do anything except repairs around the house and yard work. A Mom that takes care of the kids and does the dishes and laundry. That kind of lifestyle is just what usually ends up happening.

In the beginning it's all sun shine and rainbows and in the end you have two people that have grown to tolerate eachother and are just moving through life and waiting for death. Then you have those people that meet, fall in love and stay together forever.

Like I said though I think that some people just get caught up in the moment or just arent mature enough to understand that if you're truly in love with someone that'll never go away.

^ What DS said. XD
OK, based from what I've seen, marriages can work only if - and I speak bluntly - the two parties involved can stand to live with (or without) each other. Marriage, when you get right down to it, is just like any other relationship, only formalized. Its success depends on how well the two parties get along. If they can't get along, naturally the marriage goes >poof<, and you hit rocky ground there. But if you can learn to get along, despite your differences, and continue to love and respect and support each other, you've got some happy times ahead. Forget the house, the car, the bling...Marriage is all about those two people who get hitched to each other. (The family may come along later, of course. XD)

Marriage is definitely not 'necessary'. oxygen is necessary, marriage is a religious privelege.

it's not that i don't believe in marriage, i just can't ever see myself getting married. i don't believe in a certain god, so confessing and promising my love and devotion for somebody infront of no particular higher being, just seems ludicrous. i don't see why more athiests/agnostics don't feel this way, to be honest?

as for financial purposes and what-not, there is de-factos to think of.
maybe what i'm saying is more of an answer to "what do you think of marriage" as opposed to "why doesn't it work?"
i think the answer to why marriages don't work is simple. people are hasty and foolish. that, and they change. your entire life, you grow and shed your skin.

plus, i'd rather spend the wedding/ring/dress/honeymoon money on a sweet big arse trip to new york and boston.

I believe marriage is made in heaven but a lot of details that we have to make here on earth..So it depends on the people and their religion.

I believe that we shouldn't divorce no matter what, that's why we have to choose very carefully who will be our husband or wife. I believe that marriage is important and that shows our love because in marriage we shows that we really have commitment in loving someone because we cannot divorce. In marriage we have to be patient and accept our husband or wife the way he/she is

I read on a novel from an Indonesian novelist. She said that maybe we don't need love in our marriage. We just need someone that make we laugh because life is cruel and all we need is laugh. ^_^

Snowmilk

Marriage is a religious privelege

Huh?? What religious privilege?? Where did religion come into this? Whats the connection between marriage and religion??

SnowMilk... hmm... yuummm... (=^_^=)

I'd rather spend the wedding/ring/dress/honeymoon money on a sweet big arse trip to new york and boston

So then... you mean to say that you really don't give a damn about the commitment and love and all that stuff?? Do you not believe in this stuff?? But you said that you believe in marriage. Then why would you not want this??

Btw, why NY and Boston?? I mean, there are other places too! o_O I know it's off topic, but just asking...

Ayuki

We have to choose very carefully who will be our husband or wife

Choose?? What exactly do you mean by 'Choose' here? I don't think we can go into a shopping complex/center/mart and just pick up whatever husband/wife we want! XD
How can you choose?? Please explain...

Ayuki again! XD

We don't need love in our marriage

Do you believe in this?? So, marriage has no relation with love whatsoever?? But you've said that marriage proves the love. Then why have you quoted her?? For how long can you make someone happy by just making them laugh??
Can you really have a good laugh after facing some of the harsh realities of the world??

Wondering regards,
The Firestorm

What I meant by choosing is...hmm hard to explain

*thinking*

choose mean being selective. In life we're not just in love with one man or woman. We meet many people. And from it we'll be close enough to somebody that we can call a lover. But after that we must know is he/she the one or not. If we decide to marry somebody then we have to be really really sure about it. If we're not sure then find another people that we like/love. That's what I mean about choosing..(well if you don't really understand I'm sorry..My english is poor )

About the second quote..I believe in love and what the novelist said make me think twice about my criteria when finding a man to be my husband. I love him, he love me and he can make me laugh. I just quote it because I think its funny. And I think maybe you can add some extra criteria after you read my post
Because I think it's not a bad idea to have husband or wife that can make we laugh when we sad.

In my country some marriage is done by matchmaking especially in old times. And sometimes the couple who met by matchmaking last longer. The novel's story is about a woman who is still single in 30. Everybody keep asking her about the marriage and stuff and she hate it. Then her mother matchmake her with some guy and they finally get married and the woman don't love him
But finally she fell in love with this guy.

" Huh?? What religious privilege?? Where did religion come into this? Whats the connection between marriage and religion??"

i see weddings as having a predominately religious connection, and since i don't really have a certain faith, they aren't important to me. people are generally married in a church (and if both parties are without faith, this sometimes makes me wonder).


" So then... you mean to say that you really don't give a damn about the commitment and love and all that stuff?? Do you not believe in this stuff?? But you said that you believe in marriage. Then why would you not want this?? Btw, why NY and Boston?? I mean, there are other places too! o_O I know it's off topic, but just asking... "


i give a damn about committment and love (to an extent, of course, neither rule my life), but neither have to have anything to do with marriage. if anything, love has less to do with marriage these days than financial benefits. i don't feel i need a piece of paper, ring of gold, a priest and a 20$K debt to prove my love for somebody.
do you really feel that marriage is necessary to lead a life filled with love?

new york for the sneakers and street. boston for the music scene.

I have a wonderful boyfriend and I love him more than anything. And I wish I could stay by his side forever since no one else would be good enough for me. This is how I am thinking right now.

And something that bothers my mind alot is the fact that you always hear people say that when you are young you can´t have plans for the future. Because love and boyfriends come and goes and relationsships at young age is just away of testing it isn´t seriously.
But what do other people know about my relationship or some other couples relationship. It is easy to talk when you seariously don´t know what you are talking about.

I am not planing on marry I haven´t ever really felt to ever do it. But since no one can predict the future I can´t tell if I do or not.

Marriage isn´t related to god anymore not in the most of cases. Marriage is more a way of gaining some status or to be closer to the one you love. But marriage isn´t really necisary, you are free to choose if you want to marry or not.

[sigh] I am not going to repeat my ramble about how no one really knows what their personality is going to be like until much later in life than they originally realize, and how neural paths are not made more solid until your later twenties, you can read about it in the love thread regarding young people if you wish to reread it.

But it has a huge impact on the amount of marriages that fail because people get married and don't realize that PEOPLE WILL CHANGE especially if they're still relatively young. Nowadays people seem to think that because they can live on their own or because they're in college or even because they had a child it means that they are emotionally and psychologically ready to be married to someone, and it just isn't the case.

Also, I think that people don't respect marriage as an institution anymore and NO it has nothing to do with the homosexual community wanting to marry, because I am 100% for that.

What I mean is, people get married at the drop of a hat, without much forethought, and for all the wrong reasons, and then wonder why the divorce rate is so high. That, or they don't understand that the whole concept behind marriage is supposed to be that, frankly, it IS a forever kind of thing. A good deal of people see divorce as an easy way out. If you're even thinking that way then you shouldn't even be thinking about marrying someone. Consider blissful cohabitation as a viable solution, it's a lot less messy if things go downhill.

Not only that, our media is saturated with big name celebrities who treat marriage as a game, something to be picked up and then dropped when interest is lost in it. While I don't believe that most people are mindless sheep that will follow pop culture trends wherever they go, it does stand to reason that having such a casual attitude regarding marriage does desensitize the general population to these kinds of things.

Personally, as of right now, I am living with the love of my life, sharing income and bills and putting myself through school. We know that once school is over we are going to get married, but it will not be a minute before although we are eager to...We know that we still need to grow in some ways as human beings, and completing our studies will help us with that. Not only that, we will have the foundation once we are finished with our schooling for careers that will make us happy outside of our marriage, which I think is another key aspect that people overlook. While a marriage is supposed to make you blissfully happy, if you have nothing else outside of it, the moment things are a bit off in your relationship you will have nothing else to fall back on until things get steady again.