I would forgive my girl if she did something like that, but i wouldn't be with her anymore. I wouldn't hate her or anything but if she were cheating on me it would be cause she's not that happy with me anymore.

Man..such a sad story
That hurts much indeed.Being with a girl for 5 years and trust her for nothing is such a pain >__<"

Well, if i were you i'll delete her from my mind 'cause she deserve that.

Aurther

She said I'm brilliant, sensitive and passionate, and deserved the best girl in the world. I told her we used to have a strong connection when we dated and we have just split up due to different opinions about life.

K come to think about it,she admit you're a good friend to her,So why she did that for you?

Aurther

Also, that she needed a male presence every moment in her life and I just couldn't be there for her twenty four hours a day, and that is why she needed another guy to fulfill that vague space of time.

Well,i'll be honest to say that isn't a logical excuse. Kay she is missing her father and kay she want a male presence,But that doesn't mean she should betray her friend and whom her closest one :O

Anyways,i'd say if my boyfriend betray me i'd never forgive him.
It's really kind of you to forgive her though.

For me,I wont 4give her..either, its impossible tats we'll become frens as well...its juz tat we can become stangers back..its very hard to accept tat i got betrayed by a most loved one which is in 5 years,,,5 years..tats a very long time...

That was so sad Arthur...and kinda romantic between the two of you. I can sense there is still love between the two of you. Are you really sure Arthur about just being friends? Love can't fade like that. Making the right decision my friend? 'Cause my story is much sadder than you...If there is still a chance, go back to her and say i love you and hug her with much affection,love and caring.

I think 5 years is too much for a betrayal. If it was me, I wouldn't be able to forgive and I wouldn't want to be friends either.

I've been unable to comment until now as my take on this has been said through other people already but I thought I'd tell you, as an acquintance, what my stance is on the whole situation anyway. Just to show that I do indeed care.

Damoser's take on this matter is the one I completely agree with. You should forgive her but I wouldn't give her another chance. That would be somewhat foolish, 5 years is a long time no matter what spin you put on it.

I wish you the best with the situation though and I'm sorry I'm unable to elaborate more or make this post a bit more helpful but I would definetely advise you to listen to what Damoser has said.

I would forgive!
Pain is unbarrable,yes...
Your proud can get hurt, yes...
You can be filled with sadness, yes...

But when you REALLY forgive, all this painfull feeling starts to wash away. I really prefer live with more peace than carrying with me all this heavy feelings in my heart.
Beside you've learned another lesson and more knowledge about the world

who do you really trust?

If someone makes a mistake, I forgive them easily. However, I find it really hard to forgive someone who betrayed me. A person/friend purposely backstabbed me without a thought. Is it someone that I can forgive...yes...after a very long time. Trust? I will have zero trust for an even longer time.

btw, the betrayer will receive their punishment a thousand fold

I think I absolutely won't. I'm kinda unfair, I know, but betrayal is betrayal. I maybe will forgive but to give another chance, it's out of question.

I don't think a betrayal of 5 years can ever be forgiven. There are times when it could work but not one that was going for 5 years.
I had a friend who was dating this girl since they were in 8th grade I believe and when we were freshmen in college, she told him she cheated on him and begged for his forgiveness. He was pretty pissed off as you can imagine and he ended the relationship and stopped talking to her. We all thought that she was just going to fade away and we would just forget about her, but she would always ask us how he was and what has he been up to. After a while her friends told us how she misses him so much and is really confused now because she wanted to be honest but now wonders if you made a mistake by telling him. So we told him that yea she messed up and we don’t blame him for being mad, but it seems like she’s really sorry and that he should at least talk to her, so about 1/2 a year after their relationship went down the toilet, he finally confronted her and with the simple question "why?". He was she was so scared and was crying through most of it but from what he could make out, she said between a school and work, he wasn’t around as much and she felt neglected because he wasn't able to spend as much time with her as he used to and when they were together he seemed tired half the time so she started hanging out with her old friends and stuff just happened, and she felt terrible after that she just had to tell him. He was still mad and told her what she did was pretty F* up, and how he wasn't sure if he could ever trust her again, but he would forgive her. And few weeks after they talked they started talking more frequently and we started seeing her around more, and about a year after that they got "MARRIED", which surprised us all, but now they are still together after 4 years for marriage and have a beautiful daughter and are happy so I am glad things turned out the way they did.

Hey there!
You're a really nice person,aren't you?
With all that happened,you're still willing to forgive her and maybe be together with her again!Amazing,really amazing!
Just remember:if she's done it once (don't matter the reason) she'll probably do it again;second time is always easier than the first,in everything you do.So...just be carefull not to get yourself hurt again,ok?

I've been badly betrayed just like you have. High school was a silly time of my life, and I had a horrible relationship. Yeah, probably more horrible than you can imagine. (Arthur, if you want me to, I can share it with you via pm) It was a terrible relationship that only 2 of my closest friends new what was going on for 90% of it. And then, one of them turned out to be the person he cheated on me with. One of the people I confided in, that new everything was the one to stab me in the back. And thats why HS is silly.
How did I handle it? Well, first I was in disbelief, and then I was furious. Then, I just walked away from it. It was my senior year, so I wouldn't have to see them anymore unless I wanted to, so I just left everything there. Thats not to say it didn't hurt. Oh it hurt like hell. Even now it still pops back into mind and I shake my head in disbelief that someone so close could do something so horrible.

Have I forgiven them? Oddly enough, I forgave my asshole exboyfriend, but I don't think I could ever forgive the girl he cheated on me with. It's a case by case thing.
My advice...life goes on, and everything happens for a reason. I say that because after all that horrible shit happened to me (the horrible shit is more than just the cheating. oh so much more) I got a new boyfriend who was amazing and took great care of me. I'm not with him anymore, but now I have someone even better. i realized had the cheating not happened, I would have stayed with the jerk and probably would have dropped out of school or something. Instead I graduated cum laude, and have an incredible job, a new car, a great apartment, and a man I can trust with my life.
You'll be okay, and so will she. Just don't let it bring you down. I know it's hard not to, but I say this from experience. I've been there.
Good luck.

and whether the story is true or not, I expect anyone who posts in this thread to treat it as if it is, and to not be complete idiots in replying. I've already deleted a few comments of people who really need to learn how to act properly around here.
Also, no I don't see this as a counseling thread since it asks a legit question. It may include a story to go with it, but the story leads up to a legit discussion.

See, this is why I don't date thus I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff but yeah that sucks.

Worst part is if you guys were actually really close friends before that, something like that would just drive a wedge right down what used to be a really good friendship and would most likely force the close friends you guys had around you to choose sides.

Forgiving is something a very hard thing to do. especially when you are betrayed by someone you truly love. but we need to learn that to be able to move on with our life and to keep our self at peace we need to forgive that someone. Though it takes time to heal the wounds but we really should forgive that someone and move on don't let hatred control you it won't give you any good. Open your heart and entertain new love. After forgiving that someone move on.