I really hate to read, but for some odd reason, I felt like I wanted to write something. So I decided to write something. Here it is:

Prologue


In the year 1239, a war broke out between the humans and demons. The war raged on for 200 years. In the end the demon queen was defeated and the king of the humans trapped her in a piece of crystal with his powerful magic. Before the demon queen was trapped, she vowed to get her revenge and enslave the human race.
Now it is the year 1987. Humans and demons have learned to live together, but little did they know, that would all change soon.

Chapter 1

“Come on get up,” said a voice. “Come on get up,” repeated the voice. “I’m not going to say it again! Get up!” screamed the voice.
“Fine, fine. I’m up. What time is it anyways?” asked another voice.
“It’s 7:00.”
“WHAT! WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER FAI! I’M GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!”
“Calm down Sakura. I tried waking you up earlier, but you were sleeping like a rock,” said Fai.
“Then pour a bucket of water on me. You know this is an important day today,” Sakura said angrily.
“Whatever, just hurry up and get down stairs to eat breakfast. If you don’t hurry, you’ll be late for your important day,” Fai said sarcastically.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Oh just forget it, I’m going to be late,” said Sakura eagerly.
As Sakura walks downstairs, she smells something burning in the kitchen. Worried, she runs to the kitchen to see what’s wrong. “What’s happening?! I smell something burning.”
“Don’t worry, I just dropped a piece of bread on the stove,” said the voice.
“Oh all right Kurogane,” said Sakura.
“Please, call me dad.”
“I know I was just kidding around,” laughed Sakura.
“By the way Sakura, don’t you have something important to do?”
“Huh? Oh no, I got distracted,” said Sakura.
“Well you better hurry,” said Kurogane. As soon as they stopped talking, Sakura began to eat her breakfast rapidly.
“Slow down honey, you’re going to get sick,” said Kurogane.
“Got to go. Bye dad, love you,” said Sakura.
“Bye, have a gre-“
All of a sudden, the whole house began to shake. After a few seconds of shaking, everything stopped, time and people all stopped, except for Sakura. Sakura looked around worriedly. “Dad, Dad! What is happening!”
Sakura ran upstairs to find her brother frozen also.
“Fai! I don’t understand!”
“You have been chosen,” said a quiet voice.
“Who are you?” Sakura said frightened. Panicking, Sakura started to run.
“You can’t escape your destiny Sakura. You have been chosen.”
“Chosen to do what? Sakura asked.
After Sakura asked the question, everything started again.
“Dad! Dad!” yelled Sakura.
“What is it honey?” asked Kurogane.
“Are you ok?” asked Sakura.
“Of course, I’m ok Sakura. You cut me off when I was trying to say have a great day.”
“I did?” asked Sakura.
“Yes you did. Now, are you ok? I think you should stay home today,” said Kurogane.
“No, I have something important to do today. I can’t miss school. Bye dad.”



Note: I'm not sure on how this site is set up, so there might be two different people talking on the same line.

I think its a really great start! Very interesting.
The only flaw i can see is that you have used the word "said, or asked" too much throughout the chapter. Perhaps broaden the range of vocabulary when referring to someones quotes. For example, "What is it honey? replied Kurogane"
or "You have been chosen, whispered a quiet voice."

Thats all i can see really. The storyline seems great and it got off to a great start. I will be looking forward to reading chapter 2! ^_^

Keep it up!

Isn't this the board for art?

Heh, well I'll reply anyway. You're off to a decent start as the previous poster already stated, but I do agree you need to use much more diversity in the wording. There's a lot of different ways you can get the same message across without having to repeat a character's name, or overuse the same nouns. Don't be afraid to study the writing style of another writer, or even use a thesaurus if needed. It's not cheating, it's actually a good way to learn. :)

I like it, dunno if this is the right place to post your stry, but I like the start, I agree with the people above me, you need to extend your vocabulary ^^, By the way, it´s Fye not Fai ^^

Actually, I read the sticky at the top of this forum, and writing is considered art. It says I can post it here. Also, I it is Fai, not Fye. I have the manga and it spells it "Fai."

Also, thank you for your positive support. Still, don't try to sugar coat it, if you don't like something, go straight out and say what you don't like, but at least give a reason why.