I feel like I was born in the wrong era because I’m unable to understand some of my fellow peers in their way of thinking when it comes to sex. I’m a twenty two year old woman and I’ve never engaged in any sort of sexual activity, I’m no saint and I’m not saying that I’m saving myself for marriage or I’m a devoted Christian and my religion is against it or anything like that. I smoke and drink and go out to clubs just like any other young adult and I like to have fun just as much as the next guy.

What I don’t understand is why am I looked at as being abnormal because I choose to remain a virgin until I’m mentally prepared for it and or until I find someone that truly understands me? A few friends of mine gives me a difficult time whenever the topic comes up and I simply can’t comprehend what is so bad about my choice. We live in a very sexual driven society and I personally think it’s disgusting, also I see this as one of humanity’s major downfall. Everywhere you turn these days it seems like sex is always thrown in our faces and for some of the most frivolous things, it’s very repulsive.

I’m often looked at as the strange one or the weird person amongst some of my friends and it really irritates me. I find myself very reluctant to go out on dates anymore simply because of my choice to remain a virgin and due to some rather unpleasant experiences I’ve had in the past because of it. Whenever I meet someone that I’m interested in, I tell him right away so that he knows there is no room for a debate, and I’m not willing to experiment either, at least not in the first few months. What’s wrong with wanting to get to know someone without you having to take your clothes off? I mean am I so out of touch with society and their way of being normal that I have to be ostracized like this? My question to you all is how do your friends or anyone in general react to you when you tell them that you’re a virgin and you’re over twenty?

I will happily appreciate all comments on this subject and ask that you all try to keep the profanity to a minimum lol. I've tried too keep this as clean as possibly but I don't know if I did a good job or not, my apologies in advance for anyone who feels offended by anything I've written.

Well, how can I start this, I'll tell one of the most recent happening to me, when I just started my new job, i was among the only 3 guys in the night team, and there was that guy, who was like me, 21 years old, but he, was married, and had a child of 2 years, I learned of that while we were talking a little down before setting for work, and the reason for him being married so early was "he lacked of affection", I don't talk to my parents for 3 years, and I just lost (not physically) the last member I could call family, and yet, it was no reason for me to get involve with a girl, i guess that's another topic concerning people will power, but then

about the same guy, while we were working, he said "hey Joey look", he showed me his cell, obviously, i looked at it even if my mind was more focused on the work, my eyes went on what was playing on the cell, when i realised what was playing, I got disgusted, he showed me a scene from those p*** movies, I almost sweared him but since am not customed to use vulgar words, I just told him to get lost, and he was like "come on Joey, you talk as if you never did it", for some reasons, I felt like smiling, I looked at him again, and told him, "yeah I never did it" and that expression on his face, made me smile more than I already was, that face that was saying like "impossible, he's joking" and he even said it out, and I replied, believe what you want, I never done it

here, for a guy to be virgin at 21, is kinda, hmm well impossible, why? due to the events I mentioned in past threads, like teens doing p*** movies and spreading it on cellular, or girls doing strip and film on cell, so it's obvious, it'd lead everyone to wonder and try (i really think the word obvious here is weird, mostly considering that we are a multiracial country, and that most of the people are indian, someone mention last time that, east people are more conservative about those things due to their religion, i'd like to underline this and confirm that it's totally not true, eastern people are worse, the only religion where girls respect a lot moral values and their body, is muslim, but, there too, there are few girls who claim to be "modern" muslims, the rest you can guess)

now about the thread topic, what goes on in girl's mind for them to believe that the world is a matter of ... (it's painful to always use that word or even write the s) well, 3 things come to my mind,
1, unability to develop an own personality and instead develop a facade to please all people around until that facade stress them too much to a point that they think they need to let it out someway and ... (you know the rest)
2, due to society and all girls around to have made, string, revealing wears, and so on, as official decent wears, so, walking around the streets half nake is normal, and if a guy looks at that girl who's badly weared, it's the guy who's at fault, well, at least it's like that here, but I've been always saying, girls may have a brain, but there life is mostly about catching people's attention, it's like a competition, while for guys, life is about ... you know what, having fun, you don't have to go far to confirm my statement, just browse the net a little for blogs, watch 2 or 3 guy's and girl's profile
3, lately, there's a fashion among teen girls, that fashion is to have fun among girls, i always said there's nothing innocent anymore after you reach 12, maybe even earlier, well, girls usually take the hand of other girls in school, they claim there's nothing wrong in it, and it's just innocent and friendship, to me ( and it's up to me only, am not asking anyone to agree ) this is just another stupid way people, girls, did invent to have a form of physical satisfaction, and right now at the time am writing this, there are girls here who do other girls in classes, yeah, in classes they even do such acts before the teachers, so like i was saying, a whie ago, being not a straight person ( hopes no one mind cause i can't find a decent word to describe ) was a matter of the person himself or herself being like that due to his/her body or mind, but now, it's fashion to be among the yuri people

when i gather all these reasons, in the end, the real reason, why girls are being so dirty, it's cause guys are too, at least, that's what they claim, and well, that answer just prove to me that it's not cause one or the other is dirty, it's just cause both side are weak mentally, at least in our era, they are psychologically weak

Knew I forgot something, as to the why other girls peer pressure you about this matter or say you're weird, it's due to either
1, because for them, it's normal already to be indecent and so on, so they found it weird that someone stick to beliefs and all, and sometimes even ridiculuous
2, they are just jealous that you saved yourself for so long next to them, you make them really feel like, what you know, since, they've been used to be around girls who are like them, you know, make ups, manipulate any single guy that would show some weakness for them and make them do errands for them or send them cellular credit or call them and so on, at least, that's what happens here (note, i never mentioned anything without it being supported by facts or so)
that's the only 2 reasons i can think of for now >_<

Well, I'm 19 and I'm a virgin. I just don't want to have sex with random people because then it just loses its worth. Come to think of it, I almost lost my virginity at 10 when I got dragged into an 8-year old girl's room way back then on her birthday party, but for some reason I never made a move and eventually another person (attending the party, also around 8-10) walked in. Had I dropped my pants back then I would've...well, who knows what would've happened to me.

I've made friends with dozens of girls but was never really interested in any of them to the point of going out with them. Maybe I'm too picky on picking a girl...maybe I don't have enough of a social life...maybe I just don't care about being a virgin anymore.

It's kind of like a Honda Civic to me, it's everywhere and even if you have one you're nothing special, and I really couldn't care less. It's the same as television, I don't want television anymore because I don't care for it anymore. I don't care of a lot of things because I've found other pleasures to enjoy that mop the floor with the stuff I couldn't give a crap about. In other words, I've found things much more interesting than going around and screwing dozens of girls every week, and one of the first things that come to my mind is a pile of steel with a 305-hp engine and AWD.

Now, having said that, I'm not planning to stay a virgin forever, I just haven't met the right girl yet, and that goes back to above with my preference of an ideal girl or a lack of social life etc., I just haven't met her yet. Once I've met her, get to know her and get to love her, then I'll do it and make it a good first time. To those people who have sex just because of your concern of your social status, for fun, for enjoyment, or whatever the reason, if you're not doing it because of love then you're wasting your virginity.

PS: Sorry for the car references, just something happened today that's got my mind stuck on it.

I admire you two and wish that you were included in my good circle of friends. It’s not too surprising to hear that they’re guys like yourselves out there, in my opinion many girls these days have become extremely aggressive when it comes to expressing their sexuality and some of them takes it for a game. One of my friends…. No acquaintance who’s a girl, favorite pass time is to pick up young boys and I’m talking about boys in their mid teens. She talks to them, flirts with them, find out if they’re a virgin or not and if they are, then she takes their virginity. She doesn’t always succeed in doing this but let’s say 8 out of 10 times, she does. In today’s typical status of beauty I guess you could say that she qualifies as being a babe or whatever. I asked her why she does this sort of thing. Isn’t she worried about hurting these boys emotionally? I mean their losing a precious part of themselves to her and in my honest opinion it seems like she does not care it’s just all a game to her. She says that it makes her feel invincible, in that these guys will always have a memory of her, and it makes her immortal in sense. WTF?

I don’t care if it’s a boy or girl, that’s just wrong. She doesn’t think about the fact that maybe a few of these boys might become emotionally attached to her, and in the past it has happened and I felt really sorry for them. It’s the disregard of respect for others and for herself that I can’t handle anymore… so I find myself spending less time talking to her and eventually it will be permanent if she doesn’t change.

Maverickslayer, you’ve had some rather interesting events happened to you and I especially liked the part where you made that smirk at that guy, it’s almost like the calm before the storm. Yeah, I too get that expression of death when I reveal the “abnormal” truth about myself sometimes. I also agree with you in that some people are just psychologically weak and they conform to other people's idea of living a "normal" life. Please don't get me wrong here, I'm not sitting on my high and mighty throne trying to judge everyone, I know that not all people are like this, I'm just talking about the ones that I know for sure. A lot of people are so desensitize these days to the point where people like us are looked at as some sort of vintage or antique collection.

~Longbow

I almost lost my virginity at 10 when I got dragged into an 8-year old girl's room way back then on her birthday party,

You have experienced something that frightens and disturbs me. I have a nephew that is eight years of age and I was only thinking of him when I read that part of your comment. I’m happy that you came out of it clean and intact, lol. It's nice to see that they're some really decent people out there. You guys stayed true to yourself and you're convictions, I respect that a lot!

I'm a guy 26 years old and still a virgin so I'm in kinda the same situation and share your frustration on the subject.
there is nothing wrong with being a virgin if you think you are not ready or haven't found the right person yet and as for

Katelyn

"My question to you all is how do your friends or anyone in general react to you when you tell them that you’re a virgin and you’re over twenty?"

..well for starters say it loud and clear "Yes i am a virgin for reason you most likely wont be able to comprehend" and be proud of it...it will surely freak them out xD
not all of us (guys and girls alike) think of nothing but sex you know, there is alot more involved in the process of "making love"

-anyway don't have much time to elaborate on the subject at the moment so I'll probably check back later.

chin up :)

Reply to Katelyn : well, the girl you described in your reply, there are these kind of girls in a batch of 100 you'd surely find 100, in a batch of 200 you might find 199 like that kind, she even reminds me a little of the 1st girl who went as far as trying to have me to do it with her, she did really lot lot of stuffs to tempt me and so on, even came at my place and so, and she's a religious girl, i mentioned that in another thread, it seemed as if religion was like a cover for her devil desires and most certainly lack of brain and pity for other's emotion, well

let me point something, guys are dirty, so many girls happen to be heart broken, now on their turn, girls who see other girls being heart broken think guys are all dirty, and thus even plays with those who aren't with the "he'll be dirty someday or another" in their mind, which do make guys unstable emotionally, and fall for stuffs like drinking alcohol and so on and test many things and then ends doing the same thing with girls, that is, not caring about how they feel, in the end, it's a huge mess, where everyone plays with everyone, how to guess who's sincere

now another thing i'd like to clear, i didn't resign from love matters cause 2 or 3 girls manipulated me or tried to, i resigned from love because, while being manipulated, i realised am not meant for love, nor to be loved, i won't elaborate on that, it's a little out of topic

so back to this matter, I agree to Valeria and Longbow, even if i know more believe in love, i am convince if love does exist, it should be like that, and s** shouldn't be just, well, just s**, but something that really symbolise that two person are bind together, but instead, here we have girls at work who let's guys put their finger where you know at the 4th floor during pause time, and when i hear this am like, if i was that girl, what could be on my mind to let a guy do such things to me in a place like this, or how low can i be, to even think of doing stuffs like this, seriously, where's the so called "fun", the guy ended telling everyone that he did that to the girl, and the girl doesn't even care that she got a reputation of b**** it seems, i think she's same as that girl Katelyn referred above, but whatever, at the time i was manipulated the 2nd time in my life by that religious girl, many questions went on my mind, how can a girl who's convinced in religion, end doing such dirty things and all, i never found an answer to it, so i made my own answer, that she was just a b**** looking for fun before marriage, why wait for an answer, i don't have a lifetime to know if she loved me or not ( it's obvious she didn't, after the much i discovered after ), as long as i didn't lose myself to her or any other girl who tried to use me, am fine with it

too bad that if the ideal girl did exist, i won't be able to love her nor her to love me, like i said above, but i still wish girls would be more decent, now that they are most of them dirty, i can't even have decent girl mates, i got only 2 friends here who are girls, and believe me, for a girl to be in my friend list, there's a long way to go, they are the only one to never wear revealing wears ( they aren't even muslim, meaning they have really much self respect and moral values ) plus, i've learned and work with them for almost a year, so i can confirm, and thus, underline one of your sentence, which was "not everyone are the same" true, and me too am just putting ahead the general people who am 200% sure so low that even dirty is a kind word to them

I'm 20 years old and being doesn't make it any easier.
People think that I'm strange for not having similar relationships. And, don't get me wrong it is not like I am a hermit or anti-social. But, so far every guy who has come my way can not prove to me why being with them is a benefit to me. Sex is not to be taken lightely and it can make or break you potential future. I have never felt tempted to have sex with anybody even when my friends teased me about it. There are just to many consequences that are all too likely and common to not be careful.

Besides, your first time is suppose to be special not regretful. When I decide to have sex I want to know it was for the right reasons. Not to make the guy I'm with stay because I'm afraid he'll leave, not because I am desperate to get married, not to have a baby because all my friends have one. No sex should be between two people who are married to each other, who got married because they have not just love but compassion, understanding, respect, and the desire to make their life together wonderful, prosperous, and enjoyable. Then once all that is accomplished then I will have sex with the man that I have just married. But other wise I will not marry him if that does not happen. But the most important thing is He is going to get a blood test for every STD known to man before the relationship progresses to that level.

And you may think me some what naive but I have come to peace with that already. I am not about to compromise myself for someones wants and momentary desires.
I take pride in my virginity and no one can take that away from me.

^taking pride is good thing we are one of the rare ones these days lol we should take pride xD

wow... you guys have harsh friends but i guess that is normal...

all my friends well most of them knew me since we were in junior high or high school and they know what type of person i am so they don't question me on that type of stuff... i never wanted to experiment that type of stuff either O_o its not that interesting to me... when it happens in later in life its necessary for children but for now its more disgusting than anything to me... my friends don't mind xD they understand me so i never get looked at weird or anything... now as for strangers... they just never question me ^^;;; even guys who try to get to know me don't ever ask me about it which is good xP so i guess i never had a situation like you guys... and my circle of friends are good? lol... i know some of my friends have experienced it one of them has been going out for almost 10 years O_O i know thats alot right... ever since freshmen year in high school... and they are probably going to get married... i don't look down on them or anything and they don't look down on me or treat me any differently so i guess im greatful to my friends for being who they are xD

To your point, we definitely live in a sexually charged society, where sex sells, sex drives us, and can be all that's needed to warrant a reward.

Depending on where you live, it can definitely set a sort of demographic. When I was in high school in one city, people were sexually active but once I got into college, my circle of friends were mostly virgins or not sexually active yet.

As far as I'm concerned, your first time should be with someone you've been dating for a while and feel special with. I don't really feel the concept of one night stands.

TheMajor

Besides, your first time is suppose to be special not regretful.

well, I agree with that point, somehow, mine is a little different, that is, to me, it's not a matter to be taken lightly too, but it should not only be something special and regretful, but also it's a thing i would have like to give to "the" one, that is, to the one that will really be at my side all the way long, and not wake up next to a girl while knowing my 1st time was with another, it's kinda, weird to think of it, well, it was like that I used to think before I resigned on love matters

TheMajor

I am not about to compromise myself for someones wants and momentary desires. I take pride in my virginity and no one can take that away from me.

on that one, I agree at 200%, there's no way i'd let go of my 1st times just cause momentary desires or human hormones, our mind are developed to be stronger than that, i believe, mostly considering we are no more kids, means we are no more this unaware and thus, there's a line between being responsible and having self respect, it's not i was raised like that, it's just i grew and told myself that this kind of adventures to experience life and keep telling ourself that it's how "life" supposed to be is wrong, and instead, should be lived in a way that can really distinguish us between animals :s

Reply to eddokun : that's nice to have such kind of friends, well, i need to point out something, there are 2 kind of friends not to confuse, team/classmates, and real friends, people that you keep in touch even if you don't meet them, and who are there for you even in good times as in bad times, so, if you asked me, real friends won't really look at me down or so, cause most of them, are special in their ways, so meaning, most of them are close to the kind of person i am, each of them have their own values and set of morals, and an own developed personality, it's the team/classmates that looks at you as if you were some kind of, one among many

and you said that guys don't ask you about this matter, but between guys and guys, it's always like this, they keep joking about and talk about that the whole day, so when am around, a question i've head for my whole life is "have you ever done ..." or "do you ... " just to make fun of me or i don't know, maybe trying to make me feel lower, does it even work? well, it kind annoys me that each time it's the same question, i feel like my whole life is a serie of repetition, and mistakes here and there ( mistakes caused due to me being too naive that things can go right ) so back to the topic, when a girl tries to be friend with me, the 1st thing i'd try to guess is, if she's got a boyfriend or not, if she does, i'd see if she's the loyal type, and if she is, then i can let her in my friend's circle, there are also many other characteristics that makes it really tough for a girl to be in my list of friends, example, there's a girl who's my best friend, she's the only girl who i allowed to get so close to me in this country, all the rest are either teamates or so, she's among the 2 only girls i do call friend, and the only i call best, why?? because, she never dated a guy, and when i asked her why, she replied, "it's not the right time, my studies are more important for now, dating and love can be dealt with later" so, i wouldn't ask out a girl if she's virgin in a straight way, but when you learn about someone and notice that she ain't lying for a whole year or 2, i can only accept that she ain't like others, to me, if a girl, who doesn't have a boyfriend at the time i meet her and isn't virgin, means that she has been weak at a point of her life, which i don't really judge, but it's a proof that she can be weak, and since am not this harsh ( am lying right now, lol, joke am harsh in lot of ways ) i'd observe her for 1 day or 2, and underline main characteristics that prove if a girl is really a trash or a clean type, but those tests are only done to girls who tries to get close to me, for the rest, i don't care, they are trash as long as they don't come near me, and when you get close, there's only two possibilities, either you're confirmed trash, or either you're confirmed to be clean, there ain't a 3rd issue

so i'd like to reply to a part of Katelyn 1st reply, which is, about breaking contact with that girl, well, just mentioning how i do about such things, not imposing my point or anything, when someone doesn't match characteristics i've defined, they are straightly blacklisted, example, that girl at work, who did let that guy touch her, the 1st time i got into that job, she came in, she did kiss no guy, but when she did notice me, came to kiss me on the cheeks, since that, i marked her as jerk, why? it wasn't her being polite at all, it's a proof that she's a b***** cause, she came to kiss me only cause i was new and "cute" ( that's what they claim, tssssk, as if i'd believe that, it's a polite way to say on your forehead it's written that you're naive and nice to toy with ), so on the 1st week itself, i did make it clear that i hate her in everyways, her way to wear unfinished clothes, her way to walk as if she was trying to catch everyone's attention, and so many other things

after reading this, people could conclude I hate all girls in the world, lol, that's not totally false, even if i know there are some exceptions, like a few who replied in this thread, I do focus all the way on the 99% unless am proven that the 1% is really worth to fight for

reply to SonicKirby64 : all i can do is sadly agree with that point, there's nothing much to say about it, not even expecting it to change one day, afterall, humans are just so humans, 2000 of evolution to reach this

^woah... um ya i agree with friends part where you can be friends even if you are far away and such...

im a girl but i have few guy friends who i know i can count on as friends not guys... they don't see me as a "girl" but a friend... as for other guys i can care less

its like how you see all girls as trash as long as they don't get near you... well i have to disagree with you on this part... i understand you hate alot of girls but there are girls who are not like that and mind you its not only 1%... i guess where you live it seems like that way but i met way too many girls who are not like that... of course there are trashy girls i don't associate myself with them because i know they will just be wasting my time because they rather try to seduce guys then be friends with any of us... that is to say... just because a girl don't want to get near you does not make them a trash... unless you stated that part of your reply wrong i had to defend some females on that part...

because when guys approach me i have to see what type of people they are... i hate some guys who act like they know me so well after meeting me what like once? O_o um no... or the type who are so conceded who thinks every girl falls for them -_- um no... but i still do not see 99% of guys as trash lol! i do see ALOT of them though ahahah but i know there are those who are good like my friends and such

as for guys i know alot of guys all day talk about that subject and i think its really stupid... they really think its funny joke or sumthing to talk about stuff like that but i just see it as being retarded xD... hence i only have few really good guy friends who are not like that... they know me and they know how i am they don't dare joke about stuff like that in front of me... and they are smarter than most people... all my friends know how important studying and such are they have their priorities straight thus we been friends for a long time since we are working toward our goals... as for some people who have distanced themselves from us are out every night drinking partying... well people like that are no longer associated with me alot which is fine...

It's all about culture and media. Today, people see the normal life as one filled with the highlights of one's endeavors all packed into his/her early years. Youth is the time to drink, have sex, fight, go out and come back at 4 AM. That's the life. Bah.
Go somewhere else, Europe for example. "All good things come in moderation." Europeans by all means know how to have just as much fun as Americans do, yet they don't pack it all inside their twenties. No, they realize that life is not all about parties that'll get you drunk and bed sheets you have to throw away. Rather, life is about the memories and experiences that will last for the years to come. Not to say that any of the other things are not going to be remembered (oh no, never) but don't think that you have to do those kinds of things in order to have the good life.

You don't have anything to worry about

A total stranger won't ask you about your sexuality
A true friend won't care if you are virgin at 20+ years old
Everyone else in the middle is not important

So Katelyn, be proud of being loyal to your principles, I think you are an admirable person because you respect yourself more than everything else and you don't allow others (sons of pop-culture) to influence your decision.

I'm 25 and I'm a virgin, and when someone ask me about my sexuality my answer is one of two: "is not your business" or "I'm virgin, any problem with that?"