First off, this is a mature discussion. I don't mind 13-year-olds replying to this thread but please, reply in a mature and polite way. If you're too young for this discussion, please don't read it. Any posts I see with people replying in an immature and childish way, they will be deleted.

Now, you're wondering why I created this discussion. Well, you probably noticed how the number of high school students (even middle school students) involved in sexual activity have skyrocketed these past years. I'm mainly referring to the US, I'm not so sure about other countries around the world. Anyway, high school students would be involved in sexual activity that doesn't involve sexual intercourse and they consider that as not 'sex' and still call themselves virgins. It is pretty obvious that everyone have different views on what is 'sex' and what isn't 'sex'.

Onward with the discussion. I'm interested in knowning what the AP members here define 'sex' as. Does 'sex' only involve vaginal penetration? If so, do homosexual people have 'sex'? Does oral sex count as sex? What about masturbation? Cyber/phone sex? Most of these activities do involve two or more people and orgasm obviously happens. If you believe that it is not sex, why do you think people feel so betrayed and hurt when they found out that their boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse is doing these sexual activities with someone else?

Also, state your age as well. If you don't want to tell your specific age, just state your age range: 13 - 17, 18 - 24, 25 - 34, 35 - 44, 45+. Often, teenagers and young adults would state that 'sex' isn't 'sex' if intercourse is not involved while older adults will state that 'sex' doesn't have to include sexual intercourse. It would be interesting to see your replies and what age range you are in.

State your views and discuss.

To me sex is the action that bears children. Oral sex, masturbating, whacking, gay sex, toys, etc. are just smaller branches of sex that involve the action but nothing else.

Oh and I'm 17.

Sex, the action of sexual intercourse. Basically anything to do with sperm, well besides masturbing. I don't think of masturbation as sex because it's just one person. Well, actually i think it's anything if there's more then one person involved.

I forgot to answer my own question. Anyway, I think that 'sex' doesn't need to involve vaginal penetration. There's also such a thing as 'mutual masturbation' though it is hard to decide if that counts as sex or not. Vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, and foreplay still counts as 'sex' to me because it does involve physical activities between two or more people. Cyber/phone sex, however, does not count as sex because nothing physical is involved and people can't get much out of it.

I am 17, by the way.

Hmm...I think I would differ (with purifyweirdsoul)..but this is my opinion...

I would define sex as vaginal intercourse and oral. I�??m not so sure what I would consider masturbation to be and phone/cyber sex would probably be considered as sex in my book for it clearly says sex after it (unless there�??s another way of saying cyber sex�?�)

And I do believe that homosexuals have sex as well even though it may not be vaginal sex.

And when people have oral sex or anything such as that, I assume they are in denial because they don�??t want to believe they had sex. Many may think that vaginal sex is when you lose your virginity, but I beg to differ.

That is my belief so don�??t kill me if you think differently�?�

asashi chan age 14�?�

To me sex is the action that bears children. Oral sex, masturbating, whacking, gay sex, toys, etc. are just smaller branches of sex that involve the action but nothing else.

agreed. i think sex is the physical part in the bedroom (or wherever the hxll you are). i think sex is something you decide when your ready for it. i think actually doing it is not bad for minors-- it';s gonna happen anyway. i think it's alright. i think you have to be careful who you lose your virgintiy to though cause -- as a christian-- once you officially do lose it, you;re forver spiritually fused to your partner. (it's like marriage without the fancy wedding)

in fact, i think it's okay cause my school has a condom dispenser (not kidding) in the men's room. also, it's only a MIDDLE SCHOOL. i think sex is for when a couple is ready, not for one time flings.

anyway, i am fourteen and these are just my opinion.

Let's just get this out of the way I'm 14 and Imma female just so if you like some extra knowing. Moving on

Does 'sex' only involve vaginal penetration?

No I dont belive sex ONLY has to involve vaginal penetration because you can still have anal sex as an example. Long as it has to deal with something sexual. I mean not anything can pass like 'making-out' and other stuff but there has to be sertain things you do that's considered sex.

If so, do homosexual people have 'sex'?

Yes I do belive homos and bi's can have sex with each other. Even if it might just be oral or may I get into 'toys' your still doing something sexual.

Does oral sex count as sex?

Yes oral's do count as sex. Agian it's still sexual. I think as long as your doing something else with the other person that involes there 'imtamit' parts sort of speak.

What about masturbation?

Ah yes the great all mighty masturbation. Nope not sex if you do it by yourself. Then its just pleasuring not sex. I think when it's sex there's gotta be another person with ya.

Cyber/phone sex?

That's a hard one cause your with another person in a way but your by yourself. So its up to you o_0

Most of these activities do involve two or more people and orgasm obviously happens. If you believe that it is not sex, why do you think people feel so betrayed and hurt when they found out that their boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse is doing these sexual activities with someone else?

People feel hurt when they find there loved ones having sex with someone else because it's sex. Not only does it make you both feel good but its something you shared with that person. Like a sertain connection almost. You know its like you gave them all your love and trust when you did that. But then agian I cant speak for everyone so I'll leave it at that.

I would count sex as anything beyond mutual masturbating...
oral sex is very intimate, but would not count as sex for me..
the thing is, its varies from guy to guy/ girl to girl.
the only thing that i respect myself in doing is not compromising my boundaries when im in a relationship..
its really hard specially that now "everyone's doing it"..
i just always tell myself that im not, so that cancels out everyone.
my boyfriend is really good about this, sometimes he gets tempted to tempt me, but i remind him if he wants to stay together, then mutual respect would be in order...

and those are my opinions... im in the US, and im 15 years old.

Male/25

I think that any intimate contact that brings about an orgasm, or has the potential to, is sex. Vaginal, oral, anal, masturbation- it's all sex in my book.

I am of the opinion that the increase in teens having sex isn't something that we should worry about, as long as said people realize that using protection, namely condoms, is extremely important. However, there are certain groups operating in this country that are trying to keep sex education out of the schools. The sex isn't going to stop, that we can be sure of. Shouldn't we at least encourage safety? Condoms should be made available at no cost to teens who are sexually active.

I don't think that sex only is vaginal penetration, it could also be arol or anal, it also does not matter if you having oral or anal intercourse with a person it is still considered sex. I have noticed that more highschoolers are considering having intercourse with their boy friend/girl friend. I don't know on what is cousing such an increase in sexual desires but it is happening in the US. I think that some young adult/teens do it beacouse they think that it is safe. They probabli think that if they do not have vaginal intercourse then it is not considered sex and is perfectly safe. But the sad thruth is that what they are thinking is wrong. If unprotected during sexual intercourse you could get transfered several sexual deseases (don't know if thats spelled right). People think that having vaginal intercourse has more risks for deseases but the most risky one is the anal, then oral, and then vaginal.

i'm 14 (15 in january)

Female 19

To me, sex is vaginal and anal penetration. As for the means of penetration- anything goes... As long as there is anal or vaginal penetration, it's sex. Therefore bis, gays and lesbians can have "sex". Masturbating and cyber/phone sex don't count as sex in my book because it has to be interaction between two people.

The increase in sexual activities between teenagers is increasing because of society's views on "If you're going to have sex, at least have safe sex." In some other countries, teen birthrates are low because they are taught to have sex after marriage, or beyond a certain age, or be shunned by society. In the US we have baby centers within Junior HS, High Schools, etc, that practically tell students that "it's ok if you're pregnant because we can help you can go to school at the same time." The mailing and dispensing of condoms in schools just give the idea that it's ok to do it as long as you're protected. I think with sex education in school and the awareness of consequences can help teens decide if they want to take it that far or not. Abstinence is the best prevention, but if they decide to do it, they should be sure they are ready for what can happen. Condoms don�??t work 100% of the time and they should be aware of that.

Most of these activities do involve two or more people and orgasm obviously happens. If you believe that it is not sex, why do you think people feel so betrayed and hurt when they found out that their boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse is doing these sexual activities with someone else?

I explained what my definition of sex was, but having your partner/spouse/etc receive an orgasm from someone other than yourself will definitely get anyone mad. It's worse if you actually know the person. Phone sex and masturbation isn�??t as critical but is usually looked down upon (or looked as "aren't I satisfying you enough?") and nowadays just looked as being plain horny.

Female 20
i think real sex is sexual intercourse everything else is no real sex! In a way you could say someone betrayed you but to my mind also a kiss is a betrayal! so everything else has something to do with sex but is not really sex if you ask me!
But i think it's really bad that also 12 year old children are having sex nowadays!!! they become younger and younger nad some of them become pregnant i think the parents have to stop it it's too young to ave sex!!!!!

What ever gets you off i would say
just stay away from
strangulation
you shoudent need to add the element of
death to make it better
ifyour into this you could end up killing
your self or your partner
im 23 by the way

the only thing that i respect myself in doing is not compromising my boundaries when im in a relationship..
its really hard specially that now "everyone's doing it"..
i just always tell myself that im not, so that cancels out everyone.

I really do hate it when someone has sex with another person because of peer preasure. Such as what you said "Everyone's doing it" or something stupid like that. Its like if some teens are just giving out there virginity now and days. It really is a sad thing but just remeber to use pertection. ;) As for myself I would want to have sex with someone who I trust and love. And that if I do have sex with him he wont leave me afterwards.

my boyfriend is really good about this, sometimes he gets tempted to tempt me, but i remind him if he wants to stay together, then mutual respect would be in order...

That's another thing I dont like is when your bf or gf pushes you into having sex. I find that funny how someone who loves you has to push you into doing something. I've been there before but it wasn't nessarly all out sex. At the time he didn't know he was pushing me into doing something but man did it hurt when he found out later.

So the moral is DONT PUSH SOMEONE INTO HAVING SEX and if your not ready dont do it. You'll just end up hurting yourself and the other person.

I forgot to answer my own question. Anyway, I think that 'sex' doesn't need to involve vaginal penetration. There's also such a thing as 'mutual masturbation' though it is hard to decide if that counts as sex or not. Vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex, and foreplay still counts as 'sex' to me because it does involve physical activities between two or more people. Cyber/phone sex, however, does not count as sex because nothing physical is involved and people can't get much out of it.

i agree with that. not necessarily just copulation. generally, as long as orgasm is oncerned and it involves two people of the opposite sex (or even the same sex), it is counted as sex.

i'm 22...