Hi everyone,

I was just thinking that I could ask this question and get some answers or stories related.

So did you get betrayed by someone, either your friend, best-friend, college, beloved one or anyone?

I really asked this question because I believe that there are a lot of people who use this kind of "we are best friends" and you think they are and your trust them in a way that you can trust them with every single thing in your life. Suddenly you just find out that they are not the friends that you have imagined or trusted in a way that brings you down and makes you feel like everyone is an enemy.

So What do you think?

Well likethesun83 ...
I would agree with you because it has happened to me.
When this happened to me I was a little down, but I always had and idea
that something was going on with that friend, so when I had real evidence
it was less of an impact, but still I changed my behavior around him, I still
needed his help to translate for me, but I think it was a good stimulus because it encouraged me to learn to speak, and understand English in less time than needed.
Now when family betrays you it a lot harder because of the fact that they are
family members, blood-related people, people your suppose to trust more than
anyone else, but it's not always true. Now for this I won't say much because its more
personal. But at the end I came to the conclusion that not everyone is your enemy
that you can see through them before you get betrayed, the same way you judge other people from the things that they wear, what they do, or what you hate of.
It's a hard concept to get over once you get it in your head and you go over all the memories that support it, but once you start looking at all the memories of the friends or people that are loyal to you, because there's always some that prove it wrong, it heals the wounds to a point where one can get over it and begin trusting again. That idea will be there with you for the rest of your life, but all you can do is acknowledge it and say that it's only an exception that will exist, and that there's more people that you can trust.

I've never been a very social person, and from experiences I heard from cousins who got in trouble because they were "chatty" about personal stuff with friends, I learned to keep important matters only to myself. I've never been through a big betrayal, only samll things that teached me to be aware of who I'm talking to. My best friends hardly have time to betray me 'cause I don't see'em much. Whatever the case, it's sad.

PUMA27

Well likethesun83 ...
I would agree with you because it has happened to me.
When this happened to me I was a little down, but I always had and idea
that something was going on with that friend, so when I had real evidence
it was less of an impact, but still I changed my behavior around him, I still
needed his help to translate for me, but I think it was a good stimulus because it encouraged me to learn to speak, and understand English in less time than needed.
Now when family betrays you it a lot harder because of the fact that they are
family members, blood-related people, people your suppose to trust more than
anyone else, but it's not always true. Now for this I won't say much because its more
personal. But at the end I came to the conclusion that not everyone is your enemy
that you can see through them before you get betrayed, the same way you judge other people from the things that they wear, what they do, or what you hate of.
It's a hard concept to get over once you get it in your head and you go over all the memories that support it, but once you start looking at all the memories of the friends or people that are loyal to you, because there's always some that prove it wrong, it heals the wounds to a point where one can get over it and begin trusting again. That idea will be there with you for the rest of your life, but all you can do is acknowledge it and say that it's only an exception that will exist, and that there's more people that you can trust.

Hi Puma27

I am sorry for what you have been through. I know it is hard for someone to be betrayed.


But you know you mentioned something very dangerous. When people are betrayed by their family members. This is the hardest part here. it just cause a lot of pain that sometimes you can't bear it.

Erineth

I've never been a very social person, and from experiences I heard from cousins who got in trouble because they were "chatty" about personal stuff with friends, I learned to keep important matters only to myself. I've never been through a big betrayal, only samll things that teached me to be aware of who I'm talking to. My best friends hardly have time to betray me 'cause I don't see'em much. Whatever the case, it's sad.

I totally agree with your that your we should keep important matters to ourselves. You know the problem is when you just trust someone and then you begin to let him/her share your important things with you because you don't know if he/she will keep your friendship forever or not.

Hi, I'm afraid this thread would be considered a list-fest and closed consequently.

However, I must say that yes, I've been betrayed, but forgiveness is stronger among friends, so everything is in the past now. My trust in some of them has been lowered, but time heals almost all scars, don't you think?

I don't think I have since I keep very important matters to myself, and myself alone.

People are usually betrayed because they sometimes feel an irresistable urge to share or talk: when down, they want someone to confide in so they talk; when excited, they want others to be happy with/for them, so they share.

It's actually just a matter of shutting up. To me anyway.

I don't really understand what you are aiming for.

Everyone needs to keep proper perspective when addressing friends and betrayal.

1. Choice of friends. Life moves with it's own pace, and you meet up with people. There is a balance here, friends because of situation and friends of common spirits. Friends from situation often are not really friends at all, you would be better to give them an acquaintance tag. They are civil with you, and likewise but push came to shove they have their own interests. (nothing wrong with that by the way)
Friends of common spirits are trustworthy and will not betray you. A good indicator of a friend is they are tolerant of the occasional inconvenience that you may place on them from time to time.

I can only think back to one real betrayal in my life, and I have to say, the signs were there far before it happened. I just turned my head the other way and ignored it. In other words, you probably can tell who will betray you, just by reading their behavior. Chances are they are friends by situation and not true friends.

Also, this thread already sounds like it is a self fulfilling prophecy. Blanket statements like 'I don't trust people anymore' , and self woe really are unwise and only bring more misery. You can trust your real friends. The issue is, how open are those eyes of yours , will you listen to the truth, and don't be desperate to have friends. (desperate people rest assured suffer in the end).

Closing yourself off to everyone is not a good idea. You only live once. You better take life by the horns and steer or you will not accomplish anything of significance nor will you leave any impact on those around you and the world at large.

That's what I think!

Everyone is getting betrayed in life, whether you want it or not, whether it's a mistake or not, it's just the way life is. If you choose to not trust anybody then you will forever live with a fear in your heart and you will be unable to trust family, friends, beloved, anyone for that matter. But we do need help sometimes, and we need someone to trust, to tell our pain, to get advice, all that comes from trust, so we need to feel trusted, we need to trust. You will also betray someone someday, perhaps unconsciously, or because of a stupid mistake, but you will want to be forgiven and still be friends, or get along just like in the beginning if it concerns a family member. That is how the humanity works, we make flaws, we learn, and so we try to not repeat our mistakes.

I'm not sure if this counts as being betrayed, mostly because that friend apologized and I told her I forgave her, but in truth I just...never got past it, I suppose. For a while, we were pretty close friends, going to class together (we took quite a few same classes) and all. She asked me if I wanted to be future roommates, and I agreed to it, so of course I searched no further. But then, she decided she wanted new roommates - one week before the deadline. And her new roommates were, no surprise there, my ex-roommates. Needless to say, I was nearly left with no roommates and could have almost landed with no place to live (our school's dorms can only be applied when you have a full room).

We're still sort of friends, but far from what we were. And she's closer to the people I was originally closer with...Even if I'm putting up a front, I just can't bring myself to forgive her. And I guess that's life - sometimes, you just have to put up with people you don't like anymore.

I don't know - am I too sensitive? Do people do with all the time? I feel bad for hating people, but my grudge refuses to go away. Betrayal...yeah, totally sucks for the people on the receiving end.

Sure I've been betrayed but that isn't any of your beeswax. People get betrayed for different reasons, sometimes you have no idea and sometimes it's blatently obvious. I think this question is too personal to be sitting on this forum, we're here to talk about anime, not extremely persnal life experiences.

Yes. I have been betrayed by my closest "friends". Out of school they would be my best friend and everything. We would go to the club and stuff, and movies, and they would be extremely supportive, but then when we were around everyone else, they acted like they hated to be around me. They had even spread rumors around the whole school about me being gay. It saddens me because we have been friends since Elementary School.

I have been betrayed more than once. It sucks but also could have been avoided on my part. I put my trust in those who were unworthy and paid for it. Some people can't be helped by you. The only person you can trust 100 percent is yourself, because you know your own mind. Now I am not saying you can't trust people, just be careful who you trust with what. Read the Art of War to learn about betrayal.

That feeling of being betrayed sucks.

I think it's like your friend(s) had just abused trust that you put in him/her/they/etc. D:

Well, it had happened to me before. But I think it is a little bit too personal for me to share here because it happened between me and "that person".
But I think that the best way is not to trust too many people or don't share your deepest and darkest secrets with your friends too readily unless you're really really sure that you really know them inside out. You'll never know if out of a sudden, that friend of yours will suddenly blurt it out on purpose / or stabs you on the back.

Just a piece of my opinion, though I don't think everybody will agree with me.

I get betrayed a lot. I'm kinda used to it now.