The concept is solid, but not that well executed. when doing this kind of typography, it looks a lot better if you have the type follow paths. i'm sure you were inspired by assasinXXX to do this wall, but you may have noticed what sets his walls aside from ones like this. he puts a lot more into the type than just altering the size and placement.

also the colors should pop a little more. just need more saturation for that, and slightly lighter shades.

it's good for starting out, but if you want to use this technique in the future successfully, then you need to be more creative with you typography.