I've read all of clover, so it's pretty hard for me to enjoy this wall since it travels so far away what clover really is. Clover is vastly known for it's intense use of negative space and whimsical details. neither of which this wall shows off. I understand that this image came from one of CLAMP's "mixed styles" drawings, but even so, it just...is so far off. I don't mean to bring up the idea of ot walling series you don't know, but I think it's wise to do some research first.

Onto the technical aspect of the wall...you've done some incredibly beautiful, well thought out walls, but this just is not one of them. As I was once told a long time ago when I used to engage in more collabs..."collabs allow you to learn from each other so you can strengthen your weaknesses" In this case, i think it brought out weaknesses more. The colors are nice...very soft, and definitely pull out "sunrise" and not "sunset". The technical aspect of the vector of Suu is pretty nice, but I agree that the white strands don't fit with the rest of the style you are doing. Also, the fence...the perspective is completely off. It seems like you started out doing it right, and then instead of taking the time to make each rung in the door have the proper perspective, you just duplicated them a bunch of times. It makes the whole thing seem very VERY flat as does the scale of everything. Some things are proportionate to her, like the wall, but then the door rungs are so close together they seem off. Also, back onto suu for the moment...her arm on the right looks dislocated. You don't have any lines describing which part of the arm is in front. I know that part of the scan was blocked out, but you need to know when to do those kinds of things.

I could keep going, but some of the others have already said what I wanted to. Just adding to their critique.