I highly agree with the comment made above. Perhaps while talking to the mother show Selphina as a young teenager or child 10-13? (pull the whole charlie brown adults are taller thing). Additionally, i like the name a star thing because we could pull that element into the ending "philosphical bits". Withe the current screenplay I feel that the writers should be able to grasp a firm idea and take over from here leaving Cibo to do the 3d animation, and allowing the rest of the designers to...well DESIGN. XD. Next, perhaps Supermonchi, haraki, hamster and I could work on storyboarding the screenplay?

If anyone would like to contact me I am slaka1789@hotmail.com and mylastbl00dyt34r on AIM.

~Slaka

cibo

I believe a 10 hour air supply is somewhat beyond what is available today... But, in the near future..

I promised to check this out, so I did.
Assuming the worst case, under strenuous activity, an untrained young human female can consume up to about 2 litres of oxygen per minute. That works out to be about 1.7kg of oxygen in 10 hours. People who train their physical fitness can consume more, though, so we'll have to factor that in - astronauts train hard. But since Selphina is going to be simply floating around in space (albeit possbily some physiological panic reactions), turns out it's actually pretty feasible to give her 10 hours worth of air supply.

cibo

-----? Selphina floating in space in a dress, flapping in wind. The moment she opens her eyes, she's in a space suit.

This is an excellent "pivot" point to use for flashbacks, really. We could have a young Selphina in that dress in the flashback, maybe on a windy hill/cliff at night looking at the stars or such.

cibo

{Selphina-} 'This is very important to my work; to everyone..!' -or- 'I know.. but I believe the knowledge we could gain out-weighs the danger.'

I'm trying to get a feel for this here, so pardon the strange question: What is Selphina's work? I'm looking beyond "astronaut" here... perhaps she is a scientist or expert of some sort, a mission specialist or payload specialist sort of role. Imho it would be best if we can somehow tie everything together: her present role as an expert in some scientific field, the flashbacks which should provide a glimpse of why/how she aimed to study the field, and also the philosophical bits - if we can master this, it will help to build a pretty solid character.

The "name-a-star" idea is nice and romantic, but we'll need to see how we can put an astronomer on a spaceship. I mean, in real life, they launch remote telescopes like the Hubble Space Telescope rather than take astronomers on board missions. The sort of scientists they do take on missions are more of physicists, chemists, biologists, running microgravity-related experiments.

I'm tending toward maybe physicist, because that's easiest to fudge and we may still be able to modify the idea of the stars... perhaps some romantic notion of "conservation" in the entire universe, or "where do people go after they die" (read: "which star"), maybe throw in some big bang or astro-related physics. Just tossing up a mess of ideas right now, we'll need to sort it out and try and weave something coherent and useable.

Or biologist. Then we can use that line:

'Long after I die, my energy will continue to circulate the system of life.'

Another additional note, imho we could afford to shorten some of the cuts, especially those from launch and during the emergency. Rapid succession of cuts might help to build some tension, and besides, imho the real focus should be on Selphina's character and her inner struggles; the spacecraft accident is more of a premise that can be quickly gotten over and done.

Some new ideas to add.. Everything is background info, so this won't be explicitly illustrated in the feature:

*Selph is short for Selphina

1. - Mission purpose (as far as Selphina is concerned) :
To setup and test experimental scan equipment in orbit.
Think something like MRI (or CT) for the planet.
Perhaps not just for the home planet, but for scanning outlying planets?

*Maybe we could mention this background info in a trailer?
Also, I think it is important that her mission is not 'save the planet'. This would take away focus from the main point of the story -> Selphina's experience


2. - Selphina:
She is a lead member of the group of scientists, research and developers who designed this new technology. It is essential to have her on board to setup and perform the initial tests. She is not a career astronaut.
As her work involves the environment and space, she will be particularly affected by seeing the planet from orbit and being closer to the stars.

* Selphina's fiance' may or may not be part of the development team


3. - The Incident:
Not necessarily explosive decompression.. but something that both ejects Selph away, and disables (or destroys?) the ship, preventing a rescue.


4. - As Selphina is ejected away from the ship, and as she is fighting to right herself**, one of two things may happen:

Either, she passes out from the G forces.. When she wakes, disoriented, she is no longer spinning out of control, but her EVA suit fuel is spent. She is very distant from the ship, if it's visible at all. Unknown time has passed.

Or, she struggles and uses all of her fuel, but by the time she stops spinning (by using EVA/MMU RCS), she is far from the ship, and still rapidly drifting away. As the ship shrinks into the distance, she goes from panic into a dismal mood. No passing out, coherent timeline for Selph. More (psychologically) tiring, to facilitate sleep/dreams later.

**She uses her EVA attitude controls to stop spinning, but does not have enough fuel to reverse her 'fall' from the ship.
*This is her first non-simulated mission to space, she is inexperienced in using the EVA equipment and also very nervous.


--Scene Idea:
I want to do a scene where lightning flashes can be seen from orbit. As she will be on the darkside, this would be particularly vivid.
Cut: Looking at Selphina, suddenly we notice small flashes on her face-shield. She looks over.
Cut: Small, rapid flashes in the clouds, scattered in the atmosphere.

-..at least a few cuts during an ambient section, when she is floating silently.
*I am searching for a vid that has visible lightning from orbit...


Lastly, I would like to start the feature with a flashback. Perhaps something somewhat comical (not over the top..); something that would get the viewer familiar with Selphina before we put her in a life and death situation.

Hmm all sounds pretty good Cibo, As for the flashback Id rather do heartwarming/comical. Maybe a childhood scene of her looking into the sky above, or her and her mother or her fiance (or them at a younger age)

~slaka

There's no friction in space, so stopping spinning wouldn't work. Actually, realistically, it wouldn't work, but it is anime, so it doesn't really have to be realistic. Other than that, it sounds pretty good.

cibo

1. Think something like MRI (or CT) for the planet.

A bit Final-Fantasy-ish, but I guess we can work with that...

cibo

Also, I think it is important that her mission is not 'save the planet'. This would take away focus from the main point of the story -> Selphina's experience

I agree. There has to be some important "pursuit of knowledge for the good of humankind" to make it so she really wants to go up there and do it personally, but "save the world" is much too much and would be a different kind of story (action/intrigue) on its own... we're working more toward character and drama methinks.

cibo

2. - Selphina:
She is a lead member of the group of scientists...

Coincides with my thoughts exactly. I like.

cibo

3. - The Incident:
Not necessarily explosive decompression.. but something that both ejects Selph away, and disables (or destroys?) the ship, preventing a rescue.

Bungled EVA / technical installation? Perhaps they are setting up some scientific equipment outside and certain shipboard systems need to be shut down to enable them to perform the task. Some technical problem arises, maybe something shorts during installation and affects the ship's
controls, causing loss of orbit/stability and throwing the EVA techs off. The ship is temporarily disabled and/or out of control, and as for Selph, well, she's inexperienced with the EVA suit and doesn't recover quickly enough so she gets flung out pretty far.

cibo

4. - As Selphina is ejected away from the ship... one of two things may happen:

lukas8me

There's no friction in space, so stopping spinning wouldn't work

I'm with lukas on this one... let's just say she panics and isn't experienced with EVA.

cibo

I want to do a scene where lightning flashes can be seen from orbit. As she will be on the darkside, this would be particularly vivid.

Not sure if this actually can happen; it'll have to be a darn big storm for that to be the case. I'll help look into it and see if I can locate any useablesource/reference.

Lukas8me -
Friction? I tried to convey that Selph uses the EVA to stop her rotation.
Some units have a function that automatically stops rotation.
*See the last paragraph in the Overview section here.
Perhaps she panics, tries to stop herself first, struggles, and then uses this function after it is already too late.

Hamster - MRI for the planet, Final-Fantasy-ish? (I've only ever played 8.. halfway..) Besides, this is only minor background info, and a suggestion at that.

The 'Incident' does not need to be overly detailed, as not much of it will be shown in the feature. Your explanation sounds good.
I might add, the electrical short fires particular RCS boosters causing collision with the equipment in mid-installation, as well as the EVA techs. For added momentum, the equipment, partially connected, whips back, hitting Selph.

Electrical storm from orbit.. I've seen video of this and have been scanning youtube for an example. I've heard astronauts talking about this as well.
This is the best I've been able to find so far..

I think we need to structure the movie properly. Including new background ideas is very nice but makes our movie longer without being really necessary for the main plot ("solitude in space and parting from one's life").
Plus, it is not usual that a five-minute movie is as complex as a TV series. Our project has something like seven or eight chapters by now providing information about Selphina, the mission's purpose, science, the space incident packed into space scenes and flashbacks. I guess this is a bit too much for us given the fact that most of us do something like a movie for the first time.

That's why I have a suggestion for cutting down the movie to two minutes:

---

1. Why did Selphina go into space?
We can insert a conversation of Selphina and one of her beloved ones (parents, boyfriend, best friend, mission chief etc.) about the dangerous aspects of this mission. The realistic and scientific purpose of the mission is not of interest for most viewers.
(20 - 30 seconds)

2. Selphina is alone in space
Selphina realizes that she's floating in space (the incident already happened). The viewer must assume that an accident occured. We can indicate that with Selphina taking a shocked look at space ship debris and saying something like "They did not manage to put their EVAs on in time".
--> the viewer realizes that Selphina is the only survivor of the mission.
Selphina also realizes her problematic situation.
(30 - 40 seconds)

3. Flashback that combines the actual situation in space with something that happened earlier (in Selphina's childhood?). We need a key situation like Selphina climbing up a tree and then being saved by her dad (climbing up the tree --> going on a dangerous mission). Symbolic parallelism is an important stylistic device in short stories.
(20 - 30 seconds)

4. Ending scene
Selphina realizes that she will die and cannot be saved (like then when her dad saved her from the tree or stuff like that). We can insert some pseudo-philosophic aspects here and have a nice good-bye scene.
Will she be saved?
(20 - 40 seconds)

---

I know, my narrating style is very choppy but I want to keep the production of our film realistic. We are reaching for the stars at the moment and that is too risky if we want to conclude this project for sure.
We can drag the two minute plot up to three minutes to stop the fast pacing.

Please tell me what you think about my suggestion. Otherwise we should maybe pause this project and start a concept that is more simple.

harakiri

We are reaching for the stars at the moment and that is too risky if we want to conclude this project for sure.
We can drag the two minute plot up to three minutes to stop the fast pacing.

Please tell me what you think about my suggestion. Otherwise we should maybe pause this project and start a concept that is more simple.

I think you've got a point there. Upon some thought it doesn't seem right for us to be thinking so hard about plot points for just a ~5min short. My opinion is that the story that we've developed so far needs a longer running time to do it justice, so perhaps we can shelve it for now and do something simpler, for starters.

I was actually thinking the exact same thing, 5-min is too short and will feel like Star Wars Episode i. Id say extending the time would be better, but that will also make it alot tougher. So either shelving it or just adding on to it is up to everyone else.

~Slaka

I just joined this group and it took me a wh8le to catchup (about 30 min. reading through all the pages XD). my first question is "the sky opens in a deafening rage as everything is pulled skyward, and all that can be seen, from horizon to horizon, is the blackness of space." I can't quite portray this scene. and as Slaka suggested about contacting, I'm ok with it but it's not really necessary. and last I think we need some kind site that will host all our files that we have been working on so the members here could view it.

Welcome Nudls!, Well I think it would be best if you chose a specific job title since you dont have anything to do. Do you know how to Digitally paint? ALSO I believe tha Cibo has a website that he is hosting all of the work on as of right now, so far not much actual work has been done other than story, some basic pic. concepts, test-videos etc.

~slaka

Thanx.I think I told cibo that I would b support 2d animator. and I yeah I could help in painting stuff. maybe I'll just make some rough drafts or help with the other stuff for now.

nudls

I think I told cibo that I would b support 2d animator.

Are you able to draw in between images or are you just familiar with animation software?

Well, I have 1 1/2 year experience with the soft ware so I'm familiar with it. and I put images in layers when I animate.