Well not really lame......i found it........ahem.....kinda......amuzing.......i haven't found a good one till now........but i won't lose to Gil!!behold!

Hmm i have a few good ones but they are ones that loose somthing when written down so for now ill tell one of my fav blonde jokes the blondes revenge.

So one day a blonde boards a plane on her way to New York from LA. She takes her seat and then a lawyer type sits down next to her. the plane lifts off and after a while the guy next to the blonde says to her "hey you want to play a trivia game to pass the time?" The blonde says "No thank you, I want to try and get some rest." the guy not use to taking no for an answer then says " Come on it'll be really fun you cant loose If i ask a question that you cant answer you give me 10 dollars, but if you ask a question that I can't answer I'll give you 100 dollars. So how about it?" The blonde thinks for a second and says "ok fine."
So the Lawyer asks "How far is it from here to the moon?" The blonde reaches into her purse and pulls out a ten and gives it to him.
Lawyer then says "Well it's 382,500 km. ok your turn" thinking that what ever she asks hell be able to answer it, i mean come on she's blonde how hard could her questions be?

The blonde thinks about it for a bit then asks " What goes up the hill with three legs but comes down with four?"
The lawyer though about it for a bit then got his lap top out and searched all over the web and emailed his doctor and lawyer friends and after about an hour still didn't have an answer. so the lawyer reached into his pocket and pulled out a 100 and gave it to her. the blonde took it and went back to sleep.
the lawyer a little miffed about it asked "So what's the answer?!"
The blonde reaches in to her purse and gives him a ten.

Lol bwahahaha.

Man all the jokes so far were sooo funny. Really spiced up my day.

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.
As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink Dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.

He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin.

She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
"Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell HIM you have a headache."

ROFLMFAO! Oh thats great ill have to tell that one to my buddies at work.

This ones a bit older not as funny but still classic

One Day a nudist couple was getting ready for a costume party the husband walks in on the wife and sees that she has a lemon over her privates. the husband asks "What are you going as?" She replies " As a sour puss isn't it obvious? whats are you going as?" The husband thinks for a moment walks into the kitchen and comes back out with a potato over his member and says " I'm going as a Dicktator."

One day a guy goes to the doctor because he is having some back pain. After running some tests the doctor tells the man that his testicles are pushing up on his spine and if not removed they could cause him to loose function of his legs. After some considerable thinking the man decides to have his testicles removed.
After the opperation the man was feeling a bit down so he decided to go and buy a new suit and maybe that would cheer him up.
He walked into the local tailor and said "hello I want to buy a new suit" the tailor looked at him and said " lets see looks like your a 45 chest 17 arm 38 waist and 32 leg." the man astonished said " well yes but how did you know that with out measuring me?" The tailor replied, " after 35 years in the business you know these things." The man the said "Wow thats amazing well come to think of it how about a shirt to go with the suit." the tailor replied " ok 17 neck."
the man again amazed asked, "how did you know?" The tailor replied " Like i said 35 years of expierience." the man's spirit was starting to livin as he saw him self in the new suitand then the said " how bout some new shoes as well." the tailor said " 10 wide" the man dumbfounded asked " how did you know that?" the tailor said " 35 years in the buisness." the man was really starting to feel good seeing his new outfit the said " you know i think i should get some new underware to go along with all of this." the tailor said " 36" the man said " actually no i've worn a 34 for the past 15 years." the tailor replied "Trust me your a 36 if you ware a 34 that will push your testicles up on your spine and make you have horrible back pain."

Alrighty just remembered another one here it goes

One day two woman's dogs died they were her whole life almost like her children. So she decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed.
The lady walks into the taxidermist and says "I'd like to have my two dogs stuffed."
The taxidermists replies " Ok so you want them mounted."
The woman says " No holding hands would be just fine."

Back again from vacs with a good one!!behold GIL!!!here it comes:


So once there was a guy who had a really silly strange voice and he couldn't find a girlfriend with a voice like that.so once he got fed up with it and visited a doctor.
The doctor said that if he wanted a normal male voice he had to cut his......(you know that thing......that men use to reproduce......well his.......you know)
but the guy said: no doctor i rather have that voice than not bein a man
and he left for vacations to feel kinda better.he went to the beach stated to swim
really far from the coast and didn't hear the lifeguard screaming:
EVERYBODY OUT OF THE SEA!!!THERE IS A SHARK!!I REPEAT THERE IS A SHARK!!

and he swam further and further not hearing the lifeguard when suddenly he saw the shark!!!:
Help help!THERE IS A SHARK!!

I hope you understand that the silly voice was in italics and the normal was with the normal letters and i hoped you enjoyed it!!^_^

LOL i like that one. ok heres mine

One day this pollock is talking to his friend and says " I can't figure it out how come you always are able to get the girls but i can't?" The friend replies " well its really simple when you go to the beach you just have to put a potato in your swiming suit."

The next day the pollock and his friend were at the beach and all the ladies were again swarming his friend but when the pollock would approach a woman they'd take one look at him and run off screaming. So the pollock goes to his friend and says " I did what you said and put a potato in my swiming suit but the women still run away from me and now they even scream." His friend looks at him and tells him " Your suppose to put the potato in the front of the suit!"

Hahahahahaha!OMG!Gil this one was great!!!i laughed so hard that i almost fell off my chair!!!3 YAYs for Gil!!^_^

Hehe i try =P kk another one

One day a man walks into a pet store lookin for a pet for his wife the store owner walks up and asks " Can i help you with somthing?" The man replies " Yes im looking for a pet for my wife but im not sure what to get." The owner says " well how about a puppy?" the man says " No she's allergic to dogs." the owner then says " Ok well how about a Kitten?" "No I hate cats." then the man notices somthing in the corner display and asks " Whats that furry thing over there?" the owner says " oh you mean that? that's called a fuzzy wuzzy." the man says " well what does it do?" the owner replies " here i'll show you." So he grabs a telephone book and drops it into the cage where the creature was and said " fuzzy wuzzy telephone book." The creature pounced on it "RAAAAAAWWWWWWWR!" and the telephone book was torn up into confetiti . the man said "Wow thats amazing can it do that with anything eles?" The owner replies " sure just watch." so the owner went and grabbed a wooden chair placed it in the creatures cage and said "Fuzzy wuzzy chair." then the creature pounced on the chair "RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWR!" and it was torn into pieces no bigger then tooth picks. the man completely amazed said " Wow i have to have this it'll be a great gift for my wife I'll pay what ever it costs to get it." so the two complete thier transacation and the man brings the fuzzy wuzzy home to his wife. upon seeing the strange animal she asks in an annoyed tone " What is that?" the man tells her " It's a wonderful creature called a Fuzzy wuzzy." the wife looking very upset says "Fuzzy Wuzzy my ass!"

Little birdy way up high why'd you poop right in my eye? I won't cuss and I won't cry. I'll just thank god that cows don't fly.

Kk nother one i got from my gramps

One day these two little boys are in their house by the christmas tree and one boy says to the the othere " SO what are going to tell santa you want in your letter?"
the second boy says " Im not going to write him a letter this year i think im going to give him a voice message."
The fist boy responds " Oh, do you really think that will work?"
The second boy says" sure ill show you I WANT A HORSE AND I WANT A DRUM SET FOR CHIRSTMAS!"

The first boy says " why are you yelling santa isn't deaf!"
the second boy responds " Yeah i know but my grandma is."

Ok so one day a Doctor for a army base was making his round checking up on the patients.
He walks to his first patient and asks " What are you here for?" the soldier responds " Hemoroids sir." the doctor then asks " What is your treatment plan?"
the soldier replies " Wire brush Five ours a day." the dacotor says " Good, and whats your fondest wish?" the soldier replies to get back to the front line and serve my country." the doctor comends him and move to the next patient and asks "what is your condition?" The soldier responds " Goneria sir." the doctor then asks " What are you doing about it?" the soldire responds " wire brush five hours a day." the doctor then says " good my boy. and what is your fondest wish?" the soldier replies " To get back to the front lines and serve my contry." the doctor commends him and move on to his next patient and asks " what are you in here for my boy?" the soldier responds " tonsilitus." the doctor then asks "what are you doing about it son?" the soldier replies " wire brush five hours a day." the doctor says " ah very good and whats your fondest wish?" the soldier responds " to get the wire brush before those two."

ROTFLOLZOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Muhahahhaahaha thats funnny..Now my stomach is aching hahhah..Nice one gil!!