<<Falling into the sky>>
By Nicole Ulambayar (Ninjin Ulambayar).

I don’t know why I feel it, I just do. I don’t know how to describe it, I just try to. But in the end, I just end up at the same spot I started. I spun 360 degrees.

I feel it again, that feeling you have when you are on flat ground and nothing in sight except the never ending sky. It feels like you are going to fall into the sky. I guess it’s because…because there is nothing to hold from and cling to if you do really fall, and that it feels like you are sticking to the ceiling to not fall onto the hard ground which is far, far away. I usually like this feeling, but sometimes I get scared that I might really fall. Now, I don’t think you should really think of it as stuck to the ceiling and hoping you won’t fall onto the hard ground which is far away, you should say sticking to the ceiling and hoping you won’t suddenly fall onto the hard ground because you might fall anytime and the feeling is that when you fall, there is no way to “fly” back up to the ground when you fall into the sky.

That is what it feels like.

Today, I lie on the grass, and stared up at the sky that is cloudy but also clear at the same time. It looks so beautiful that you can’t explain it in words. No, not in dumb, boring words like mine. So when I was lying, I also thought “Only the greatest writer can describe it in their beautiful, real words.” I have nothing else I could say.

Today, the clouds are all in one level. Like it’s separating us from the sky. But that’s why there were no fogs at all. It feels good to have a clear vision in a foggy place like where I am right now. And so, everything looked very sharp and edgy. Beautifully sharp and edgy. The colors of the buildings were absolutely astonishing, because the color was the color of what it was truly like but because of the drill and dimness of the fog, the blades of sunlight, the colors tend to change. But today, today the color was it’s true self. The towers and the apartments and the grass, the club house, all the things that use to look so dumb and boring had turned into sparkling master pieces.

Ah yes, the grass was one of the most beautiful thing I saw on this day. It was just polished and was just cut. “Wonderful!” I thought, and ran onto the patch field which gave me the most exciting feeling of all.

I ran and ran.

Then I suddenly stopped where I thought I should check if the grass is wet due to today’s watering that starts at 11 a.m. and ends at 12 p.m. It was around 5 p.m. now. Of course, in this weather, it is already dry. But I still checked the grass and it was not wet and not dry. I do not know what adjective I am supposed to use to describe it. As I said before, my dumb words cannot describe it. It was a little wet but a little dry at the same time. It was hard but also very gentle at the same time. It was cold and gave you coolness but it was also warm that gave you a cozy and sleepy feeling. How am I going to make all these into one word? “Impossible” was what I thought.

Ignoring everything else, I lie on the grass staring into the sky that is separated from us by the clouds.

But not completely separated.

I gazed into the sky and the clouds as hard as I could, but the more I do so, the more darkly and black my vision got. I dare not to blink, for I am afraid I might never see the scene again. I looked to the west, then to the east, and then back to north. “I am sure the clouds are all at the same level or did not pass the same level,”

I could say no more.

I found the sky as dark blue as possible at 5 p.m. It was the most beautiful thing.

Somehow, the clouds made me want to fly up and pass through them to find out what is behind. “What is so great that even the gentle clouds would want to treasure this much and to keep us destroyers away from it?” My thought kept on running all around.

Then I noticed I had the feeling. This time I wished I would really fall because of the great urge the separating clouds gave me. “I want to see what’s behind it.” Behind it, could something the world has never seen be behind it? Or would something sharper and more edgy be behind it because there were no fogs? What am I thinking? The clouds only didn’t surpass a certain level of atmosphere. That’s why there is no fog here and everything looks so pretty, even plain old mud. But that doesn’t mean they also didn’t surpass a certain level of atmosphere on top of them. Or does it?

I didn’t know.

If they didn’t surpass the lowest level, but didn’t have the same level of the highest level, then why did I see the dark blue sky? It seemed so dark and clear as if no white could make it lighter.

I didn’t care if I fell into the sky at that moment. Because I didn’t realize there were no “flying” back to the ground once I fall into the sky. So I kept on gazing.

But, it was the same result. The more I gaze, the darkly and black it got. I had to blink or move my pupil from time to time. I always tried not to blink. At least not every two or three seconds. I blinked every ten second. I then watched myself fall into the sky.

It was amazing.

The amazing you might have never felt if you never fell into the sky before. Well, maybe you felt it all the time, but it was the first time for me.

I just kept quietly falling into the sky. No disturbance or fear. After all, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Right passed through the clouds and I was puzzled. It really did have the highest level. I saw a clear dark sky with stars glittering in it.

You may think it as night had come. But no, there still was a sun. The blades of sunlight didn’t weaken. But the darkness of the sky did not lighten. They seemed to have a balance right now. Usually, only one wins. But not now.

I just stayed there, in mid air. No, I was still on ground. But somehow my head was very puzzled. I was in mid air and on the ground at the same time, in the sky and at the place I just was at, lying on the grass. “Illusions?” Could I be more puzzled? No. I could not have been more puzzled in my life.

Somewhat, the sky disappeared and I was back. I had my eyes open all the time. So it can’t be a dream. So what was it? I have no idea.

The feeling after this was the most energetic and happy feeling of all. I was so energetic and happy, I started rolling on the grass, and chuckling with…what I felt was puzzlement.

I don’t understand what had happened today. I simply want to call it “Falling into the sky”.