I knew what to name this entry before I had written a single word. Viaticum, is one of those big latin words used by the church. It literally means, "the road with you." A better translation would be, "on the road with you." It's the way the church refers to the last Eucharist sacrament given to someone before death; so it's a big word.

I'm thinking about it because my pet ferret, Paris is dying of Addison's Disease. About twenty-four months ago I started to notice the symptoms of adrenal disease and I took him in to see the vet. He had some very expensive surgery and was on a noteworthy amount of medication, and it was not enough. He is not a young animal, but he is not really old either. I named him Paris, as a reference to the Trojan War character; the son of Priam, king of Troy. He is all ferret. He's curious and cleaver and playful and protectively affectionate, and because of adrenal disease he has developed the secondary complication of Addison's Disease. His immune system is failing and believe me he knows what is happening. He gets really bad chills and all I can do is snuggle him. It seems to help and when he is warm he drifts off to sleep.

Twenty-four months before this, on December 28, my mother died. She had developed breast cancer. I remember that, her doctor was one of the best oncologist, and for a while it all seemed like it would be okay. Then maybe a year or a year and a half, after her surgery she started to get chills and a cough that made her voice rather faint. It was checked and it turned out that somewhere along the way her cancer had metastasized and it was in her lungs. My mom had a great sense of mirth, and open minded curiosity, and of life. She consumed the world and taught me that, if I would just be open to the possibility of it, I would never miss out. I would come and try to be with her. It seemed to help her.

It does not bother me to travel. The fact is I think it will be an adventure when I do. What bothers me, is that I don't get to go first.