There is a question puzzled me: how long can the love change to a feeling just like the family? My english is poor,maybe this sentence has some mistakes. I want to kown when you fall in love with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how long will the feeling take to change to the feeling between you and your family. I have been together with my gf for 3 years, she is a family member in my heart,but she doesn't like this feeling, she says if the the feeling changes so quickly, there is no romantic and we will be tired? what do you think? Specially, I want to know your answers, girls:D
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~wangxiaoyong
6 years, 6 months ago
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6 years, 6 months ago
There's no one answer. People are all so different, and the way the relationship evolves is different for everyone.
In romantic relationships, I feel that it's a good idea to keep that romance alive and fresh. But every relationship changes over time. It can't be stopped. The excitement of a new relationship can't be sustained forever. It should develop into a deeper, more comfortable and cozy kind of attachment.
The best idea is to not try to make things be something they are not. Let them be what they will be. Live day by day, and embrace the changes that inevitably will come.
6 years, 6 months ago
"Let them be what they will be. " This the best way to deal with everything! If we always try to make things by our attention,we will be too tired! Thank you for your reply! I will still waiting for the others' answers:D
6 years, 6 months ago
A Zen master taught me that the most difficult lesson is to simply accept what is. Not in a fatalistic way, but simply accepting the truth of the situation.
It is odd that people fear change, when change is the only constant, the only sure thing. Life is change.
6 years, 6 months ago
A friend of mine told me a formula D+S=H D=demand S=satisfied H=happy So,if we want to be happy,just be satisfied by what we demand in different time.Then we will be successful.Maybe life is really simple:D
6 years, 6 months ago
huh?
6 years, 6 months ago
i kinda understand what your gf is saying.. my bf has never had a great relationship with his family, so i would actually feel really bad if he called me like a "family member".... ((altho sometimes he calls us our OWN family.. which is nice ^_^))
after having a maybe exciting beginning she may fear that YOUR love for her is dissapating b/c that excitment is now turning into a complacent "family" feeling. plus most people are not ALWAYS in touch with family and they somtimes fight, etc. if you have a few problems with family, that would also put her at unease... she probably feels like if now she's a family member, sooner or later you'll lose interest in her completely and that maybe she will no longer excite you or make you happy..
just talk to her about it.. let her know that you're not just gonna get "tired of her".. reassure her, as a ((pretty dependent on my bf)) girl ((and we're in an LDR)) i always like to be reassured. it's just nice to hear "i'm never gonna get tired of you honey" even if i already know he thinks that ... maybe explain what you mean by "family member"... do you mean something like "a love that will never die b/c we're intrinsicly connected with the bond like a family would have?.... just the way you describe "family member" could actually make her feel better, she could be thinking a different definition of it right now that makes her worried. and let her know that change isn't always bad, but can be good too ^_^
maybe plan something to do with her, something that's kinda spontaneous that "family members" wouldn't do.. keeping the romance alive ((doing those sweet things every once and a while)) will certaintly make her feel a little better! (((it always works for me :P)))
6 years, 6 months ago
Anything can happen,life can be very confusing sometimes. Even your bestest friend can betray you without you expecting it XP
6 years, 6 months ago
Let me answer you with another question:
What's the difference between a Fairy and a witch??? A: 5 years of marriage.
Now that you know the answer don't do it. >_<
6 years, 6 months ago
Thank you for all of you! I understand a lot after reading your replies. I will try my best to keep the feeling alive,just like the same as that we fell in love before:D
6 years, 6 months ago
Hahah... maybe show her that the reason why you feel that way is because you feel like it's destiny to be with her... that's why you're thinking of her as sort of.. family... someone whom you're comfortable with sharing every thought... every feeling...
hahah... maybe it's because you feel that to be separated would basically mean the end of the world for you... that's why... you're... ack... i dunno... converting from tons of lust + love into a bit of lust... + a lot of love..? Lol... I dunno. Hahaha =)