General Discussion

Well you just have to wait for a while, I'me sure they will get used to you and eventually you will get friends. In the beginning most kids who don't have friends from grade school on there new school have to socialize with the other kids before they make any friends, but it's just a matter of time. =)

Know how you feel I just started 8th grade in this school that complitle different from any school I've ever gon to last fall. I moved away from all my family cept for my uncle and aunt.

Had a similar experience. I grew up in a black neighborhood, went to an elementary school where there were only two white kids in my class, and lived in a really diverse city. Then, I decided to go to college in Maine to an overwhelmingly white school that had about one token black kid in every graduating class previous. Pretty much. I am black and Korean, I guess I look Hawaiian or Cambodian. There were some asian kids there, mostly Koreans, but on the privileged side and very exclusive. It was quite the culture shock to me being used to diversity, even though I had expected it. Anyways, I was fortunate enough to have had went there with a very good support network, and soon forged a small but strong group of friends. I am glad that I went to that school in some respects because it expanded my knowledge about many issues, and learned more about different types of Euro-American cultures rather than lumping it all together. I would recommend that you take advantage of your new school to learn more and make friends. You should never underestimate the value of having a proud racial identity, rather than simply blend into homogenous American culture. I am not saying a seperatist attitude, but just learn about roots, be proud, and be able to communicate with other Asians.

In all fairness, I was on good terms with the Korean club and they made an effort to be welcoming, but in the end, there wasn't much in common. I attended club meetings every now and again, especially the kalbi (barbecue)s, lol.

i know what you are talking about. you just have to be friendly. or you can just become a brain.

I completely understand this feeling. I'm a Taiwanese in the Thai environment (students around me are all from Thais), plus, when in university, I'm the only one that came from international school. More worst, people around me are not those that like anime nor manga like me (but i'm considered as a bit of otaku). Also at home, I'm not a strict Buddhism like my parents, nor I speak well Chinese as my parents. I feel COMPLETELY outcast (TT_TT).

However, if you ignore the difference (as well as your friends) and tries to adapt to others, you won't feel so outcast. It does not mean that you have to adapt by changing your believes, or something like that, just know when it is the appropiate time to show "yourself" and when it is a good time to "follow" others.

Just talk to 'em, maybe they wont be mean.

I can absolutely relate to what you're saying. I'm asian, and I moved to New Zealand for high school. So yea, I understand what you mean. I didn't even know anyone in the country, let alone the school. But just try talking to them. It's not that hard, you'll make some great friends and most of the people are really nice.

I'm not saying that everyone's nice, there'll be a few idiots around that'll try to be mean. The only thing you can do is to either ignore them or tell them off after awhile.

Just look at it as a new experience. Reach out and talk to someone that you feel comfortable with, or see that you have something in common with.

I think that you have to be patient!! I had some problems like this in highschool, but I could get along with it... I think that all you have to do is to be patient, friendly and nice!! I'm sure that you will soon get to know someone who can be your first friend!! Others will follow after ;) Good luck!!

I've always been an outcast, but I'm cool with that. I don't see why you complain about it so much. Take advantage of the situation to broaden your horizons and befriend people from other places.... Or, if you're stuck on making friends closer to you (wuss...ha ha!), then don't worry about it too much. people will eventually warm up to you in small ways. You've just got to be patient. I went to an elementary school with about 5 other white kids in it and then moved to a school that was almost completely white and exteremely racist. I'm white but their remarks were atrcious. Just tough it out. You'll find a friend or two in time. And if not... I'm always here and willing!

I'm an asian in a private school that has only about 7.5 asians *there's someone that is half asian*. There are times when I feel distant from everyone else because of my race. I try not to think about it, but race is a really big issue here. Not that people here are necessarily racist or anything. I've become quite independent and don't really talk to my close friends anymore like I used to because of high school and classes I suppose. I'm just friendly with everyone yet at the same time a little distant. I really can't wait for college because it'll be a fresh new start. You can get to know new people and stuff other then seeing the same people day after day in my case.

well i have always done things diffrent and i dont care much for big crowds i guess you can say that i was an outcast by choice \im never been then one to trie to go out and meet new people but i never realy have felt alone

i feel your pain .... i just got married to a cambodian/chinese guy and i am the only white person at all their parties and only white person on their family trips to long beach...

i cant even understand what they are saying to me or about me ....:cries: i feel like an outcast there. I am always sittin alone and eatin my rice ::cries more:::

well at least the azn food is makin me lose weight hahahh :)

oh yea got to love china town too :)

~Natsumi Lam~

At work, this is sometimes how I feel. I am not a big partier and drinker, whereas it is typically common here. Thus I tend to be excluded from conversations. Honestly though, it doesnt bother me anymore, because you have got to realize just because you are legal to drink, doesnt mean you have too, nor does it designate you an adult that you drink whatever. Its ridiculous to categorize people based on what they eat or drink! (unless you are a canibal... thats just not right!)

Honestly, though in cases like this, its the people who outkast you that have some issues, its likely not you.

Just let the grey mass assimilate you and you can become one with the greyness.

Or you can become one of us more colourful ones that know difference is a strenght and with the right use of it you can make the grey masses follow instead of lead. ;)

My college is filled with seemingly Asians and Russians. Make new friends.. Unless you have trouble speaking with people from your own nationality or something.. 0.o I would think it'd be easier.

In high school I was an outcast. Between Sophomore and Junior year, I was going from the pop to rock/goth phase thing so when I started to wrap a studded belt around my wrist/arm while in band class one day, I saw the seniors start to whisper point at me. They were RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME but whatever.. By senior year, walking down the hallways or into rooms would always cause heads to snap my way, not because I was any different than the other rockers of my school, because I was Asian.. That was slightly more rare lol.. I had been told by people that didn't know me personally until the end of the school year that I had this weird aura and dark "I will kick your ass" attitude on the outside and if they hadn't gotten to know me, they'd think I was a bit.. weird.. And would had never approached me... IF it werent for the fact that we were in the same classes/had the same connections/friends..etc XD So in essense.. I LOVE BEING WEIRD! MWUAHAHAHA! Pwns being a clone of everyone else. And I'm not that outgoing type either in real life. I'm extremely quiet and like to blend in with the side of walls. I gues subconsciously I want attention in the quiet and strangest ways.. ^^

Sounds like my entire highschool life. But with the added fact that everyone around me was afraid of me. My solution: live with it, just ignore it really, its only school. School is for education anyways, unless you plan to live and work in the same town and area you live in now for the rest of your life. The second you get out of highschool, everything is better. It will be all in the past before you know it. I've moved a lot, after highschool i moved to another city. So everyone i know from highschool, i dont talk to anymore, nor care; my future and career is more important. By the way, i was not even seperated by race either, i'm white (even though many dont think so the second they hear my name) and i was in a school where the majority was white. All i have to say, is that if people are afraid of you, your waaaaaay worce off. So you shouldnt need to worry too much. Like i said, it will be over before you know it, and it will be all in the past. Unless you really think you need to break out of being an 'outcast'. If thats the case, i cant help you lol.

Sounds like my entire highschool life. But with the added fact that everyone around me was afraid of me. My solution: live with it, just ignore it really, its only school. School is for education anyways, unless you plan to live and work in the same town and area you live in now for the rest of your life. The second you get out of highschool, everything is better. It will be all in the past before you know it. I've moved a lot, after highschool i moved to another city. So everyone i know from highschool, i dont talk to anymore, nor care; my future and career is more important. By the way, i was not even seperated by race either, i'm white (even though many dont think so the second they hear my name) and i was in a school where the majority was white. All i have to say, is that if people are afraid of you, your waaaaaay worce off. So you shouldnt need to worry too much. Like i said, it will be over before you know it, and it will be all in the past. Unless you really think you need to break out of being an 'outcast'. If thats the case, i cant help you lol.

That was quite an interesting Story. Japanimation and being a fan of it made me an Outkast through out my High School Time, my parents were totally worried about me not having any friends and blamed the Videogames and Japanimation Stuff for that, sometimes so bad, that I was trying hard to forget this stuff for a while, I mean in a forced unwanted way... Nowadays however. I don't care anymore. I'm still Japanimation Fan and Videogamer. I guess when u get outa School it seems easier for me to find friends and fellows unlike in my High School Times. I don't know whay that is like this...

I did nothing for people to be afraid of me neither, thats the troubling thing of it all. So i can say, people like funny, outgoing people. If you are like this, or can be, you'll have no trouble. Random quote heard by a group of students walking past me and a few guys i was talking to: "those are the kind of guys that bring guns to school". I didnt wear a trench coat or anything, people are just dumb. Oh and allmost forgot, smile a lot, A LOT. Apparently people were afraid of me because it seemed like i was allways angry, or at least was one of the reasons. Body language seems to be important. And dont listen to heavy metal music, like me. Peopel freak out the second they find out you listen to heavy metal. Its also strange to note that i find myself being extremely tolerate. I can tolerate anybody regardless of how different or strange they are. I am the only person who does not dislike anyone or hate anyone (that i know of thus far). I can and only will dislike someone if they dislike me, or have something personal against me. So i had (before highschool) many friends from different groups. Of course the transition from middle school to highschool i had also moved to another city in the process, so i knew no-one and everyone knew everyone. Thats about all i can say about that, good luck. But if you want my honest oppinion, just be yourself, and who cares about the "others", you can make it on your own if your strong enough.

just like how everyon's been saying, just talk to em and it's for u to determine if they are ur friends or not, i had a lota experiences where i was left out, in grade school, high school, and even in university i only know poeple by faces, but if u persevere and try to talk with people and befriend them, you will always be able to make friends or have a best friend, well gd luck, or not even, just do ur thang and be urself dude!

It's common for people to feel this way in a new environment. You can solve it by just making superficial changes until you look the part.

Before non-conformists jump to conclusions, why don't we see men running around in 18th century giant ruffled pinwheel collars, and ballooning pants that end in tights? What happened to the powdered facepaint and wig men?

These fashion trends come and go. Why have non-conformists not picked up on these fashions for themselves, at some point non-conformance would have led at least a few of them into choosing them. Non-conformists conform with other non-conformists. Conformance is not evil. It's just another trend that has developed from a western focus on individualism. It's a natural impulse of humankind to try to blend in to avoid unnecessary negative attention.

Buy up some banana republic or fubu depending on the particular asian trends going on in your particular school. You don't have to change significantly on the inside. Just looking "normal" to other people gets your foot in the door so they will take the chance on getting to know you and appreciating you for who you are underneath the clothes.

Looks MATTER. It creates an initial impression that allows you to make a deeper impact. Sure, you could be a wonderful human being underneath, but if you look like crap they won't want to talk to you incase you look like crap and act the part. It's stupid, many would agree, but the fact is that most of the world participates in judgement based on outward appearance because we don't have the time to find out your internal details.

People know you don't dress up in expensive suits when walking around at school or at home. But when you show up for an interview, you're expected to wear one. You jumped through a hoop to make a good impression and you care what they think about you. If you come in pajamas and bedhead, you show them you don't care what they think, and similarly, they feel less obliged to think about you, and you could get passed over for the job.

It's no big sacrifice to just adapt to an environment. At each step just consider if it's worth the sacrifice for what you might get out of it. If not, you don't have to do it. But bending a little can be useful in society.

And on a side note: If you actually like being weird, you're not the only one. There are plenty that like weirdness. Be friends with "weirdos" and then you'll find that amongst that group, weird is now normal. You can conform to weirdos if that's your target audience.