General Discussion

You mean like...

» Why didn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no body to go with!

or...

» Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!

Meh, both of those work better when spoken anyway. I only know the worst, corniest of corny one-liner bad jokes anyway. D: I get a bigger laugh out of bad jokes alot of the time, especially when they're just too ridiculous and random to make sense of.

hehehehehe

want to hear a dirty joke? A horse rolling in mud

Want to hear an even dirtier one? A white horse rolling in mud

HAHAHAHA!!

There is a factory in northern Minnesota which makes the "Tickle Me Elmo" toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. Well, Lena is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo Factory and reports for her first day on the job at 8:00am. The next day at 8:45 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Emos all over the floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of marbles. The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles."

And this one I tell immediately to anyone who ever asks me to "say something funny"....

"Two peanuts are walking down an alley and one was assaulted."

It's so hilariously unfunny that it always gets a laugh.

o_o

... Bad jokes... YES!!!

I have one.

"A man walks into a bar and says "Ow"." XDDD;

*restrains self from saying any more*

They are so dumb, but so funny... and so addicting... but not my kind of jokes

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all you sons of bitches who are returning and want to get on, get your asses on the train now, cause we're going down the tracks!"

The mother went into the living room and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may go back and play with your train,but only if you use nice language."

Two hours later, the boy came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say "All assengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon."

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." Then, the child added, "And for those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, see the *****in the kitchen."