The gate was thick and ironed to the ground. It had to be at least 12 feet tall. Crystal looked up and across the top of the bars was barbed wire. Was this to keep something in or to keep something out. Crystal ran up to the bars and tried to see if she could slip right on through. She was not going to get through.
“yeah if you’re trying to get out, its not going to work. The bars are to thick. IVe tried.”
Crystal spun around. Standing behind her was a girl of about 15 or 16. She had long black hair with deep brown eyes. Her skin was pale white and had dirt spots all over it. Her clothes hung too loosely off of her body.
“who are you?” she asked.
“im crystal. Now tell me who the hell you are and where the ****im at.”
“now now. No need for such harsh language. My name is Cybell. There are 5 others here. Theres me, Jesse, Kyle, Eric, Niccola, and amber. We were all kidnapped by a cop and brought here just like you were. We have no idea where ‘here’ is at. We have been here for we believe a year now. But we have no way to be sure.”
“well I am going to find out where here is.”
“the next chopper should be here soon. We need to get inside.”
“chopper for what.”
“we don’t know. They keep dropping people off into the store shed right over there, but none of us will go near it.”
“well, im going.”
Crystal started to walk towards the storage shed. Cybella was always two steps behind her. IT got a little annoying. Crystal started running towards the shed. Once she got there she noticed the chain on the door. In big red letters the door said:
Do not enter!
Crystal is the daring type. She yanked on the chain and it fell off. The doors busted open. A foul stench filled the room. The light poured in. What Crystal and Cybell saw stunned them from fright. What they saw in the storage shed was………………



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1 year, 17 hours ago
wow suspensful! ok i like the new character but which is her real name cybell or cybella. I also like the slightly darker tone you have started to use continue that but dount make it to dark. I look foward to what you come up with.
11 months, 3 weeks ago
I've been reading your story and I'm interested to found out what's going to happen next. The only thing I would suggest for the sake of reading is the sentence fluency. It's a bit underdeveloped, but I do enjoy the story.
11 months, 1 week ago
nicely work!suspense could bring out my minds!!