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First Wall, need some critique [original art]

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Avatar for gonazar
$gonazar

8 months, 4 weeks ago

 

Hey guys,

I'm a long time user of AP but have yet to make something. I've been drawing for a long time but never was really satisfied with my work until recently. This is the result of some vectoring I did for a concept I'm planning on printing. However it's the first iteration of my first piece so I would really appreciate some critique on it.

http://gonazar.deviantart.com/art/Can-you-feel-the-beat-v1-322860605

Any suggestions for improvement? Thanks!

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Avatar for kanhop
~kanhop

8 months, 3 weeks ago

 

Its a no-brainer heart beat visuals and some words here and there, I cant feel it though. try this: put dark red on the blue heart and hair, light green replace other reds. drop the yellow.

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    Avatar for ArRana
    ~ArRana

    8 months, 3 weeks ago

     

    I’m not the best wallier, but...

    the whole wallie looks devided on 2 parts: the girl and the speaker in the upper part. Resolution is low, so it's hard to get clear idea, but begin with creating complete image and colors. Try to create the mood that you are triyng to share with others. Put girl in center and make the BG which will amplify her.

    Those black lines are sound waves? Why not look for some more variants? Or improve these ones... Because the looks like 3 black lines... You see you have nice girl, but lack the performance of your idea in your wallie.http://www.photaki.com/picture-green-and-black-line-illustrates-graphic-equalizer-with-high_221478.htmhttp://battlefield1010.deviantart.com/art/Equalizer-150981785There are different ways to create sound illusion, mb something will serve you better?

    Colors: red, grey, white and black... blue as a result of exclusion. But why yellow? + black, as one of main colors, kills BG. So it's hard to see curves and text. Look through color patterns.

    Well, I know it's quite the blabber all my words, but I hope you can find smth useful.

    ps. Why not look in gallery, mb you can get some inspiration?

      [-]
      Avatar for gonazar
      $gonazar

      8 months, 2 weeks ago

       

      Okay, here's version 3: http://gonazar.deviantart.com/#/d5dml2x

      I toned down the right side because I want my focus to be the girl. I decided the old speaker wasn't really obvious it was a speaker so I changed that. I also worked the background a bit more so it had more details and depth. The major black lines are gone, but I left the main one, lightened with a secondary line accent I've also dropped the yellow, but I haven't added anything else either so I'm still not quite sure about the color mix.

      I may have over killed the small circles, but what do you guys think?

        Avatar for ArRana
        ~ArRana

        8 months, 2 weeks ago

         

        Well, this one looks better, but still you have to do alot of improvements.

        Modern speaker looks better on this one, but still those curves loos kinda weird. But it can be only to me.

        Now that you have more smooth pallete it's more pleasant for the eye. And because of all your work on the BG, now it can be seen. But I still think you should zoom girl and put her more in centre of wallie. Because still it bear the feeling of emtiness and lack the main idea.

        Ｆｏｒ exmple:http://www.animepaper.net/art/135906/nature-music-fantasy-generationhttp://www.animepaper.net/art/162453/musichttp://www.animepaper.net/art/20709/soul-musichttp://www.animepaper.net/art/141753/feel-the-music

        Look throught these, mb, you will find smth usefull.

          Avatar for dongccsdtc
          ~dongccsdtc

          2 months, 3 weeks ago

           

          the colour is incredible! i like this

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